The first single off Jessica Simpson’s forthcoming country album, “Come On Over,” has leaked to the internets. As you might expect, it sounds AMAZING. (And by amazing, I mean really generic and slightly less annoying than her previous work.) Shocking, I know. But here’s why it “works”:

Jessica Simpson has always been a country star posing as a pop star. She never had the pipes or big city swagger of Christina or the goofy girl next door kookiness (now craziness) of Britney. No, Simpson is the embodiment of the country music star model: Big boobs, Texas roots, low IQ — like Toby Keith, but with less chest hair.

So what does this have anything to do with saving the good ol’ US-of-A?

Continue Reading: “Why Jessica Simpson’s Country Album Will Save America”

Inspired Bored by Entertainment Weekly’s list of the 25 Funniest People In America, I decided to put together a list of the 25 Least Funny Things in America (And Other Places). These are things so unfunny they make living people roll over in their graves (I have no idea what this means. I’m not a comedian, so I’ll stop trying now.) Anyway, here it is: The 25 Least Funny Things In America (And Other Places). Enjoy.

25. Screech from Saved by the Bell

24. Anyone from Seinfeld, not named Seinfeld or Larry David

And/or anyone still making Seinfeld references.

23. Web site “lists”

Lists are for remembering things, not wiping your ass, licking the paper (or screen), and smiling. </sh*tgrin>

Continue Reading: “25 Least Funny Things In America (And Other Places)”

If you haven’t seen the Weezer video for Pork and Beans yet, essentially, it just puts Weezer (and Rivers’ cool moustache) together with a bunch of YouTube celebs.

Everyone seems to like the new Weezer video. Especially internet people. Not me.

This song/video is exactly what’s wrong with Weezer.

Continue Reading: “Weezer’s Video For ‘Pork And Beans’: Will It Blend?”

When I get bored or stressed out I like to watch old video games on YouTube. I find the simplicity of the gameplay and music makes the world seem small and conquerable. So every Friday, I present you with a different gem from the past.

This week’s game: Bubble Bobble. Enjoy!

Video of people being punched in the face (via Waxy)

Compilation of Steve Carell saying “That’s what she said” (via Kottke)

Photos of TV (via Buzzfeed)

Ten Colbert clips you probably haven’t seen (via TV Squad)

Old guy attempting beer pong slam dunk (via Deadspin)

Michael Showalter is so indie (via Videogum)

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” on the Wii (via Waxy)

What. The. F*ck. Has Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo completely lost it? Rivers has been putting together a song based on fan submissions from YouTube piece by piece. It seems mad. But it’s incredibly funny, and actually a sort-of brilliant idea. It’s likely this song will be better than half the stuff on the last four albums (including the new one). Below is the clip of Rivers putting together the bridge and talking like a chipmunk.

(via Stereogum)

Fergie visited The Today Show this morning in order to prove that sexiness begins before the kids go school. Mmm. Think of all the awkward silences around the breakfast table. (Ok, I realize no one actually sits around the table for breakfast anymore, but just bear with me for a minute.)

And then to see Fergie not only butcher Heart’s Barracuda, but writhe around making sex noises in front 10 year old boys dragged to the show by their mothers hoping to get a whiff of Meredith Viera’s perfume. Barra-cooties, anyone?

(via A Socialite’s Life)

Maybe Saturday Night Live should stick to doing ONLY parodies of The Office from now on because, seriously, the two Office parodies they’ve done recently, have been two of the best things they’ve done, since, I don’t know, when Will Ferrell left?

Both feature Jason Sudeikis and Kristen Wiig as Jim and Pam, respectively, who do a great job mugging for the cameras. And Kristen Wiig, who has become a star since Rainn Wilson’s SNL, does an amazing Japanese-Pam-laugh. Kenan Thompson does Stanley justice in both, and Bill Hader steps in for Rainn in the Japanese version. I think, though, that seeing Steve Carell say “That’s what she said” in Japanese (I’m pretty sure that’s what he said towards the beginning with Pam) puts “The Japanese Office” over the top — and having Ricky Gervais in support doesn’t hurt either. But either way, they’re both classic moments from SNL.

Watch Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson on SNL After the Jump

Someone serialized the beginning of Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark. Very cool. Watch below:

(via Videogum)

As anyone who follows me on twitter knows, I have recently fallen madly in love with Billy Bragg. And one of my favorite songs is “Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards.” I found this video of Billy playing the song last year at SXSW via The Current, which is an awesome public radio station out of Minneapolis. (They have an excellent weekly podcast as well.) Mr. Bragg is always tweaking the lyrics to this classic. Here are some choice lyrics in this version:

“The Cold War now is over / But the stakes are getting higher / I’m frightened of collateral damage / And of friendly fire / And I don’t believe we can defeat no Axis of Evil by putting smart bombs in the hands of dumb people.”

Seriously good stuff people.

Check out the video of Billy playing live at SXSW after the Jump