Michael Bay’s Completely Unnecessary Remake of ‘The Birds’ Gets a Director
We like to think that we’ve developed a thick skin when it comes to remakes of classic films, but there’s something about a new version of ‘The Birds‘ that cuts right through our armor. After years of development hell, The Hollywood Reporter says the “re-imagining” of Alfred Hitchock’s legendary tale of terror has found a director in Dutch filmmaker Diederik Van Rooijen. With all due respect to Mr. Van Rooijen, this is terrible news.
As you surely know, ‘The Birds’ takes place in a small California town where the local avian populace inexplicably turns on humanity. Birds of all kinds team up to kill and maim every person in sight, forcing the humans to fight for their survival. In Hitchcock’s hands, this story became a truly terrifying and unsettling examination of man vs. nature. Since the remake is a Platinum Dunes production and features Michael Bay on its list of producers, we imagine this version will be bigger, louder and not half as good.
To be fair, Van Rooijen isn’t a bad choice. Although not well known in the United States, he directed the excellent found footage thriller ‘Taped,’ which won audiences over at Fantastic Fest and has been tapped for an English language remake. We don’t blame him for trying to break into Hollywood, but man, getting handed an Alfred Hitchock remake isn’t the best way to ingratiate yourselves with cinephiles.
Naomi Watts has been attached to ‘The Birds’ for years now, but THR says her final involvement will depend entirely on the finished script. If they get everything else wrong (and they might), at least they’re looking at an actress who fits the class “Hitchcock blonde” type. That’s not a terrible start for a production that generally sounds like a terrible idea.