Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan Get Offed in ‘Scary Movie 5′

The collection of life choices known as Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are two actors that people just love to hate, and so with that in mind, the creatives behind 'Scary Movie 5' have promised to off the pair in the opening sequence for your viewing pleasure. It's like the cinematic equivalent of aspirin. Or something.

As if we needed another 'Scary Movie' film, but here we are. The movie is being directed by Malcolm Lee and co-written and produced by the legendary spoof master David Zucker, who seemingly refuses to embrace retirement and cash in that Roth IRA to head off to a cozy house in the Hamptons, or wherever those people go to remember the good ol' days quietly, without bothering the rest of us.

According to THR, walking tabloid pinatas Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan have officially signed on for the project to follow in the footsteps of Pamela Anderson and Dr. Phil by getting sliced and diced in the opening sequence, in a nod to the 'Scream' films that inspired the 'Scary Movie' franchise, in which famous celebrities make cameos only to be the first to die.

Lohan and Sheen will play a couple because that makes all of the sense. 'Scary Movie 5' is prepping to begin production in September with an eye for an April 2013 release date.

Sheen can be seen in the upcoming Robert Rodriguez flick 'Machete Kills,' while Lohan just wrapped filming Bret Easton Ellis' 'The Canyons' with porn star James Deen. We'll end this article here so you can Google James Deen, appropriately.