There were no scheduled guests on the final episode of The Late Show With David Letterman (minus The Foo Fighters, who closed out the night with a performance of “Everlong”), but that didn’t mean that a few of Letterman’s old friends didn’t stop by to say goodbye one last time. Some of the funniest people alive all came together to present one final Top Ten list, Things I've Always Wanted to Say To Dave.
Alec Baldwin, Barbara Walters, Steve Martin, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jim Carrey, Tina Fey, Peyton Manning and Bill Murray all appeared on stage with Dave to present the final Top Ten. Some of the best Top Ten lists over the years were presented by guests and this one was no exception. In fact, Julia Louis-Dreyfus might have had the funniest line of the entire night. Letterman seemed genuinely touched by all their appearances, especially Peyton Manning who he seemed to be particularly starstruck by.
As we’re sure you already know, Letterman, who retired after 33 years as a broadcaster, will be replaced as the host of The Late Show this September by former Colbert Report host, Stephen Colbert. Letterman was the longest running late-night talk-show host in history. On September 18, 1985, the very first Top Ten list, “The Top Ten Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas” (if you’re curious, those things are: 10) Heats, 9) Rice, 8) Moss, 7) Ties, 6) Needs, 5) Lens, 4) Ice, 3) Nurse, 2) Leaks and 1) Meats). It has been Letterman’s longest and most enduring bit performed on almost every episode of the show since.
Here’s the final Top Ten list:
10. Alec Baldwin: “Of all the talk shows, yours is the most geographically convenient to my home.”
9. Barbara Walters: “Did you know you wear the same cologne as Muammar Qaddafi?”
8. Steve Martin: “Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity...and a mistake.”
7. Jerry Seinfeld: “I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air. You know what, I just thought of something: I'll be fine.”
6. Jim Carrey: “Honestly Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over-actor.”
5. Chris Rock: “I'm just glad your show is being given to another white guy.”
4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: “Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale.”
3. Peyton Manning: “Dave, you are to comedy what I am to comedy.”
2. Tina Fey: “Thanks for finally proving men can be funny.”
1. Bill Murray: “Dave, I'll never have the money I owe you.”