It would be embarrassing enough to have charges for a 1-900 sex line show up on your phone bill, but we're gonna go out a limb here and say that's preferable to anyone knowing you spent your hard-earned money shooting the breeze with quasi-celebs like Dina Lohan, Tila Tequila or Danielle Staub.

The deceptively-named Dial-A-Star, which launched last week, claims to be "the only place you can talk directly to a TRUE Celebrity."

But the site must keep a creative writer on staff because we don't see a single "true" celebrity on the roster, which includes not just the trio of ladies named above but OctoMom Nadya Suleman, world's worst father Michael Lohan, former Hugh Hefner fiancee Crystal Harris, and one of Charlie Sheen's many paid-by-the-hour companions, porn star Capri Anderson.

So what will chatting with one of these luminaries cost you? More than you might think. Prices start at $10 per minute, with Tila Tequila commanding the highest fee on the site -- schmoozing with her will set you back $20 per minute.

'Real Housewives' star Staub, who gets $15 per minute, has padded her bank account by $6,000 since the service launched, meaning she's spent just under seven hours talking to people who really need constructive hobbies. The Lohans have gotten $3,000 each, while Suleman has earned about $1,200.

The site says calls won't appear on your phone bill and are instead charged to your credit card as MFT Services, which we're guessing stands for Money For the Taking.