The sensational movie series based on E.L. James’ bestselling trilogy has finally reached completion, with Fifty Shades Freed hitting theaters this Valentine’s Day. Anastasia Steele has finally roped herself a man, but all is not well in Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey’s new idyllic life together. Darkly-colored SUV’s, thirsty architects, and men who look like they should be Skarsgards haunt the couple at every turn. Will these two ever be allowed to get kinky in peace??

The new trailer for Fifty Shades Freed features a lot of smirking, honeymoon #goals, one HGTV dream home, and at least five instances in which the main characters breathe heavily into each other’s faces. What more could you want from a blockbuster movie series based on barely disguised Twilight fanfiction? One surprise feature in this trailer is that Ana actually turns out to be Dom Toretto this whole time — how else could she have maneuvered her Audi all over that giant logging truck, smirking all the while? Fifty Shades and Fast & Furious are both owned by Universal… just saying.

Here’s the official synopsis:

Believing they have left behind shadowy figures from their past, newlyweds Christian and Ana fully embrace an inextricable connection and shared life of luxury.  But just as she steps into her role as Mrs. Grey and he relaxes into an unfamiliar stability, new threats could jeopardize their happy ending before it even begins.

Oh, I almost forgot. If I have to look at this poster and tagline, so do you:


Holy cow.

Fifty Shades Freed stars Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Marcia Gay Harden, Eric Johnson, Rita Ora, Luke Grimes, Tyler Hoechlin, and Jennifer Ehle, is directed by James Foley, and hits theaters February 9, 2018.

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