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6 Movie Video Games We Want to Play That Will Never Happen

Movie Video Games
Kristy Puchko

Every big-budget action movie has the inevitable hastily thrown together video game adaptation, and for the most part, they’re terrible. (Yes, that one ‘Lord of the Rings’ movie game was pretty good, and that one Hulk game.) But a lot of movies aren’t even in the running to get their own video game adaptation, and we think that’s a shame. Here’s a few games we would pitch to Hollywood bigwigs. (Photoshops by Kristy Puchko)


1

'Argo'

 
 
 
Argo
Kristy Puchko

This would be the most stealthy of all stealth games. Half the game is spent Sim City-ishly building a Hollywood movie, and the other half is spent sneaking around open markets and airports. No violence, no negotiating -- just atmospheric tension.

2

'Drive'

 
 
 
Drive
Kristy Puchko

A driving game, obviously, but one that involves very little driving. There's about an hour-and-a-half of cut scenes with Quick-time Events, and 20 minutes of actual gameplay. And yes, there's a button for "face stomping."

3

'The Master'

 
 
 
The Master
Kristy Puchko

An RPG to end all RPGs. There's no fighting, no items, no questing -- it's just you, leveling up your brain skills as the explosive member of a weirdo cult. Bonus achievements if you win an Oscar for it!

4

'Kill Bill'

 
 
 
Kill Bill
Kristy Puchko

A fighting game, of course. You can only play as one character, The Bride, but you will fight your way through the entire Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, and everyone else who gets in your way, with just your wits, feet, fists and a Hattori Hanzo sword. The fact that 'Kill Bill' hasn't already inspired a series of games is enough to make us go on a revenge-fueled killing spree.

5

The upcoming 'Star Wars' movie

 
 
 
Star Wars
Kristy Puchko

This will be a puzzle game, but you don't play as Han or Darth Vader or whoever. Instead, you play a Hollywood executive tasked with figuring out how the hell this movie is going to work.

6

'Spring Breakers'

 
 
 
Spring Breakers
Kristy Puchko

It's basically just Duke Nukem Forever, but without Duke Nukem. Turns out it improves the game quite a bit.

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