New ‘Mr. Ed’ Movie on the Way For Some Reason

There is only one way to respond to the news that a cinematic version of ‘Mr. Ed’ is officially on the way: sit quietly in a dark room and contemplate “Why?” At the risk of sounding dramatic, is there anyone out there who hears that a talking horse from a ’60s TV series is heading for the big screen and gets excited? Please. Please chime in.

Here’s the official statement from Waterman Entertainment head Cooper Waterman:

“We are identifying properties that have had success with multiple generations of parents who feel comfortable and have excitement about reintroducing the characters and storylines to their own kids and grandkids.  While each property remains independent of each other, they will share the commonality of addressing social values, morality lessons, and characteristics that are clearly identifiable for kids with comedic elements for all age groups.”

Let us translate that into plain English for yo:

“Mr. Ed is a brand name that people have heard of and is therefore a safer investment than any original ideas. He is also a talking animal and we all know that CGI talking animals are all the rage these days. The movie will probably end with Mr. Ed rapping because that’s what the kids like: rapping CGI animals. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sleep on my bed of money.”

In addition to the film, Waterman also threatened that the new Mr. Ed has cross platform potential, meaning that he may also invade our televisions, PlayStations and other media devices. The Waterman clan are also working on a new version of ‘The Brave Little Toaster,’ which is further proof that they are incapable of leaving old things alone.