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Oogieloves: What the Heck Are These Things?

Kenn Viselman

If you’ve been unlucky enough to see the trailer or commercials for ‘The Ooglieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure’ you’ve probably been left wondering what the hell are these things? We could not be more sympathetic. Lucky for you, we did the grueling research to actually find out.

It should not shock you to find out that ‘The Oogieloves’ comes to us from the brain trust that brought the world ‘The Teletubbies.’ When looking for a new property, the creators were at a screening of ‘Madea Goes to Jail’ and noticed how the audience was shouting and talking to the screen. This launched the idea to come up with an “interactive” movie that would allow kids to sing and dance along with the characters on screen. Or, as we like to call it, the worst movie-going experience ever.

The movie somehow was able to corral once respectable actors like Chazz Palminteri, Cary Elwes, Christopher Lloyd, Jaime Pressly and Cloris Leachmen (Toni Braxton also stars but we’re not sure we’re ready to call her a “once respectable actor”). Songs in the film include “Scratchy Sneezy” and “Milkshake March and Moo.”

This is how the film is described:

The Oogieloves live in LovelyLoveville, simply the most beautiful and joy- filled place in the whole wide world. A place so lovely that, like a throwback to the 1950s, all of its inhabitants support and bring out the best in each other. From the quirky human beings to the goofy animals to the adventurous Oogieloves themselves, everyone in LovelyLoveville knows how to have a good time!

The irony being that no adult in the movie theater will be having a good time.

The official site includes a PDF that is trying to preach to parents “Why Your Kids Love The Oogieloves” but trust us parents, your kids would do just fine spending the last week of summer playing outside or reading a book.

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