And Now You Can Own Ron Swanson's Mustache From 'Parks and Recreation'Britt Hayes |
Have you ever looked up on the glorious mane that is Ron Swanson's mustache on 'Parks and Recreation' and thought to yourself, "By golly, I'd really like to own that mustache and feed it only the finest tender vittles and sing it to sleep every night in its very own miniature Sleep Number bed?" Well, now you can.
(P.S.: Ron Swanson's mustache's sleep number is pork.)
Nick Offerman, better known to you mere mortals as Ron Swanson -- a true champion of manliness and America -- is auctioning off his real mustache for the pediatric cancer charity Because of Ezra. The actor had his beautiful upper-lip sweater from the most recent season of 'Parks and Recreation' professionally shaved off. That's right, this mustache is 100% organically grown because synthetics are for sissies and soccer moms on a budget.
This Thursday at the charity event in Beverly Hills, auction attendees will be able to place bids on the mustache, which was delicately re-assembled and placed on a mock-up of Offerman's face, which he then spent a little extra money enclosing in museum-quality glass. That is one classy 'stache.
In an e-mail to Vulture, Offerman said, "My mustache and I are tickled pink to have the opportunity to help raise some funds for this great charity. My mature bush is also available by private auction, but only serious bidders (Zuckerberg or Romney) need apply."
For more info on the Because of Ezra foundation, visit their website: www.BecauseOfEzra.org. And if you can't make it to the auction in Beverly Hills this Thursday, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for how you might be able to purchase this amazing item and become a real man.