‘Stretch Armstrong’ Coming to Theaters in 2014

It's a toy that can be stretched as hard as possible and then returns to it's own shape and it's coming to a theater near you April 11, 2014! Yes, Hasbro and Relativity Media are going to turn this toy into a movie, even though Universal turned it down, and they've no longer got Taylor Lautner attached. But they do have a writer!

It's Dean Georgaris, who has credits on the remake of 'The Manchurian Candidate' John Woo's 'Paycheck,' 'Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life," and 'Tristan and Isolde.' What that filmography tells you is that at one point he's was popular with Paramount. He was also a producer on the remake of 'The Crazies.' Otherwise, he's something of a creative blank slate.

It's hard to say if this is good or bad news. Like so many upcoming films - from 'Battleship' to 'Lego' - there's no real narrative to the source material, so it's all about finding a good way into the material. Variety broke this story, and it's hard to imagine any audience member excited about this, other than adolescent boys wondering if the stretching applies to every part of his anatomy.

Taylor Lautner may not be totally out of the picture, though after 'Abduction' proved more successful internationally than domestically (and Lautner proved to be as terrible an actor as can be) it's unlikely he can still ask for the same eight figure deals that were once thrown at him, which was likely his motivation for taking on the project. It's hard to imagine anyone passionate about making this film.