David Hasselhoff

With David Hasselhoff!

Once upon a time, Nick Fury looked nothing like Sam Jackson.

(It’s not going to be cheap though.)

Little-known fact: Michael Fassbender is a funny guy. You wouldn’t know it from his filmography, which is filled with serious roles in dramas and genre flicks and period projects and blockbusters — and even when the latter tend to be silly, Fassbender keeps a straight face. But if you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing good ol’ Fassy in person, you know that he’s a bit of a clown, and he’s finally found a project that will let him put those skills to use: Kung Fury.

Well, that’s one way to promote your upcoming home video releases! A few months ago, fans who sat all the way through to the end of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 were treated to more than a handful of bonus scenes: they were also treated to “Guardians Inferno” by The Sneepers, a fictitious disco band that also included a guest appearance by noted German pop star David Hasselhoff. No bonus footage could hold a candle to the infectious disco pop of the song, and plenty of people - myself included - immediately went home and listened to the track on repeat. It’s everything we want the delightfully weird Marvel universe to be.

The Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 home video release is imminent, and, naturally, because this is a James Gunn movie and a Marvel movie, there will be a bunch of fun bonus features to entice you to purchase it. One of these, Gunn himself announced today, is a music video for “Guardians Inferno,” the disco-inspired track that plays over the movie’s end credits and features a performance by none other than David Hasselhoff.

Young folks are probably best acquainted with David Hasselhoff in the ironic sense, like some kitschy relic unearthed in their parents’ attic during a recon mission to find the most absurd pop culture fossil for their growing collection of dank memes. But us olds know The Hoff as a beloved ’80s icon, star of Baywatch and Knight Rider, and a weird German pop music icon — so it’s not entirely surprising that James Gunn solicited Hasselhoff to help record a song for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. And it is special.

Sharknado sequels haven’t always put too much effort into their titles, but with a fourth installment now chumming the waters around July, there has been an awakening. Oh yes, Sharknado: The 4th Awakens has officially set a July premiere with a brand-new poster.

You can’t have a Baywatch movie without David Hasselhoff. Just a few weeks ago, Dwayne Johnson confirmed what we all assumed by announcing that the star of the original series would be joining the upcoming film, and now we have photographic evidence. While we wait to find out if his equally iconic co-star Pamela Anderson will also be making an appearance in the Baywatch movie, enjoy this set of photos featuring the Hoff and his new pals.

Sharknado 3 already reach the pinnacle of great white weather catastrophes in taking its titular threat to friggin’ space, and there’s only one way to top it. You’re goddamn right: Gary Busey. The fourth installment in Syfy’s surprisingly endurant social media disaster flick has whipped up the winds of production, announcing its first guest stars and details.