Toddlers & Tiaras

What's worse than watching a bunch of ill-fit mothers spray tan their 6-year-olds, force packets of sugar down their throats, and make them prance around on stage in a Madonna-inspired cone bra? Probably nothing. But TLC is coming close to the next worst thing with a 'Toddlers & Tiaras' spin-off starring "Go-Go Juice" guzzler, Alana "Honey Boo Boo Child."

Juicing toddlers with sugar, paying for a dead woman's underwear, remaking a film before it's even hit theaters? That's just the tip of the iceberg (our hearts will go on). Last week just got ridiculous, and not in the good way.

For 230-pound pro-wrestlers, it's steroids. For forty-pound five-year-old pageant queens, it's sugar. TLC's already controversial 'Toddlers & Tiaras' took the "pageant crack" scandal to new heights when five-year-old Isabella's mom, Susanna had her tired daughter downing straight sugar packets in last night's season five premiere.