Thanos Thoughts: The Emmys

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Marvel

Hello, welcome back to Thanos Thoughts. It's me, Thanos.

The people of Earth like awarding themselves with trophies. The last two nights, I’ve watched trophy after trophy be handed out to lots of humans. One of these trophies kind of looked like me and the other one didn’t look anything like me. I was hoping someone would award me an Infinity Stone. lol.

I enjoy the musical styling of Juice Newton.

I was hoping Juice Newton would win a MTV Thanos award, but she didn’t.

Taylor Swift can sing better than me.

I once sang backup on the Pat Benatar song, ‘We Belong.’

I think long and hard about the destruction of Earth. Sometimes I reconsider, but then I watched ‘Modern Family’ win an Emmy for the fifth year in a row last night and I realize that you people have given up, which makes me feel less bad about destroying Earth, but also makes me feel less motivated. If you don’t care, why should I bother getting out of my chair on my space rock to destroy you? I have very complicated feelings toward this right now. Of course, I don’t have any Infinity Stones anyway so this is all a moot point. lol. But if I did, watch out! I’d get you! Haha.

‘Frasier’ deserved every last one of its Emmys.

My favorite episode of ‘Frasier’ is the one when Frasier got mad at Roz.

When I destroy Earth, I will spare Peri Gilpin.

I saw ‘If I Stay’ over the weekend. Haha.

I thought last night’s Emmy segment with Sofia Vergara was in bad taste. I would have never done that and I am evil.

I was once nominated for a Creative Arts Emmy for my work on ‘The John Larroquette Show.’

People seem to know about my relationship with Gamora and Nebula, but people don’t seem to know that Tim Daly is a distant cousin.

Over the weekend I cleaned up my space rock. It only took a few minutes. I was expecting company, but it was a low turnout. I even brought the Simon machine out. Not the pocket version, but the big tabletop game. I’ve gotten really good at Simon over the years. I like to think that each glowing light is an Infinity Stone. This often makes me angry, which has led to more than one instance where I fling the Simon machine out into the depths of space. After I calm down, I always go get it. It never gets very far. I don’t have the strongest throwing arm. lol. My favorite color is red.

Infinity Stones! Haha.

It only took Cobra Commander a few days to assemble the three parts of the Weather Dominator. Cobra Commander is stupid, so how do you think this makes me feel about my lack of Infinity Stones?

I used to be very good at the video game ‘Berzerk.’

The Fonz never owned an Infinity Stone and he’s cool.

Pat Morita was a dear friend.

Jim Parsons won another Emmy last night. Sometimes the Academy just gets it right.

I directed three episodes of ‘Joey.’

Someday you’ll be embarrassed that a headline with the words “throw shade” is attached to your byline.

I hope Yahoo! picks up a second season of ‘Stark Raving Mad.’

Linus was the best Peanut.

I worked as a grip on the movie ‘The Mirror Has Two Faces.’

Sometimes I watch episodes of ‘Spencer: For Hire’ for days on end.

I tried to do the Ice Bucket Challenge, but because I am in space, the water in my bucket froze, then boiled and turned to gas before it hit my head. I challenge the band Vertical Horizon to the Ice Bucket Challenge.

That’s all I have for today. I hope you feel that you learned a little bit more about me, because when I learn about you I am sickened. And, someday, I hope to destroy you. lol. But no need to worry yet, I still don’t have any Infinity Stones and I need six of them to be of any harm. That’s a lot! lol.

You can contact Thanos directly on Twitter.

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