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‘The Canyons’ Trailer: This 1950s-Style Teaser Is Worse Than the Last One

Canyons/Prettybird/Sodium Fox

We’ve been looking forward to ‘The Canyons,’ the new film from writer Bret Easton Ellis and director Paul Schrader, starring Lindsay Lohan and porn star James Deen — but we aren’t sure why, especially after this latest teaser, which is somehow worse than the last one.

Ellis and Schrader funded LA neo-noir ‘The Canyons’ via Kickstarter, and unlike most Kickstarter projects, we thought this one might actually be decent. Sure, it stars Lindsay Lohan, but it also has porn star James Deen — arguably the most relevant man in the business right now, and a guy that’s shown some talent in various porn spoofs of popular television shows like ‘Family Guy’ and the ’60s ‘Batman series.’

They released a Grindhouse-style trailer last month, which curiously featured no dialogue and used the ’70s editing to pique interest, though the film itself wasn’t shot that way at all. And now they’ve released this 1950s-style teaser which is somehow worse than the one before. This time we get plenty of dialogue and it’s just awful — it’s like softcore porn on late-night Cinemax levels of awful, only minus the faux sex. But with Deen’s involvement, we’re sure ‘The Canyons’ is exactly like softcore porn, just maybe with a better plot.

The official synopsis and latest teaser, below:

It’s not The Hills… THE CANYONS is a contemporary L.A. noir from director Paul Schrader, writer Bret Easton Ellis, and producer Braxton Pope about the dangers of sexual obsession and ambition, both personally and professionally, among a group of young people in their 20′s and how one chance meeting connected to the past unravels all of their lives, resulting in deceit, paranoia, cruel mind games and ultimately violence.

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