‘True Blood': The Good, The Bad, and The Worst of “We’ll Meet Again”
It's time to level with you guys: There is not enough Chris Meloni on 'True Blood' this week. To help you cope with the egregious oversight that allows Tara more screen time than Meloni, we break down the good, the bad, and the worst of "We'll Meet Again."
Chris Meloni reclines in his bed, sans-shirt, like a living, breathing Harlequin romance novel -- minus that weird cat smell from your aunt's house.
Sookie finally admits that she's a life ruiner. She ruins peoples lives! We know Bon Temps is backwoods as hell, but you guys have vampires. Don't tell me it takes eight years for your local movie dispensary to get a copy of 'Mean Girls.'
"Congratulations, you're a grandfather!" Pam is the best bearer of bad news.
Eric releases Pam from his power in order to keep her safe from the Authority and Russell. There are no jokes here, people -- this is just so sweet and can you pass the tissues? Um, for a friend.
Meloni brings that sharp suit and those mad interrogation skills to the set to get Nora to confess to who else helped her in her mission. Looks like one of the members of the council is a big ol' traitor -- it's probably whichever one of them picked out that obvious table bowl from IKEA.
Chris Meloni exploded a child vampire into goo. Forget Friday night -- this is how we do it.
Of course Sookie drinks pina coladas. She also probably has a subscription to Cosmo and a well-worn copy of Matchbox 20's Greatest Hits. Eric and Bill stalk around outside and watch her hook up with Alcide, deciding to stay away from her for good. These are the decisions that make the big bucks.
Pam saves Tara from her tanning bed suicide, but what about all the women in New Jersey?
Sookie is freaking out about killing Debbie Pelt and tries to get Jason to arrest her before she's found out. Is there a jail for annoying fairies? I think it's called Disney World.
Tara's soap opera is the worst show on 'True Blood.' I'd categorize it as such, but her new hatred of Sookie and her little chat with Bill tells me she might be convincing Bill to stay away from Sookie-Sook. We can all get down with that party. And her banter with Pam was -- dare I admit it -- kind of funny. Pam could be a good influence.
Lafayette's Luchador witch power face looks eerily similar to a mud mask I use to tighten my pores.
'True Blood' attempts to borrow some production value leftover from 'Band of Brothers.'
Sam's shifter friends return and I know they're asking him to change into an animal and run around the woods naked with them, but all I hear is "Let's have a boring threesome! We have boxed wine!"
Alcide tells Debbie's parents that she's dead, blames it on Marcus, and assures them Marcus is dead. It's only the worst because 'True Blood' doesn't know when to cut a damn plot thread and let it die. Idea: Let's take a power nap every time werewolves are on screen. It's like a drinking game but instead of waking up confused with a carton of ice cream on your pillow, you'll look well-rested.
Some fairies take Andy and Jason and their new cop friend to a fairy burlesque party, which just looks like Brett Ratner's version of 'Eyes Wide Shut,' so basically 'Moulin Rouge' without all the singing. And fairy dudes don't fight with jazz hands, which is just disappointing.