“F--- yourself, because that is so f---ing absurd!”

Those were the words of Uwe Boll, notorious film director, occasional boxer of critics, and real-life version of Max Bialystock from The Producers, on YouTube yesterday as his Kickstarter campaign to fund Rampage 3: No Mercy wound down in unsuccessful fashion. With three days left to go, Boll still needs to raise $30,000 to hit his goal. If Rampage 3 falls short, this would be Boll’s third unsuccessful crowdfunding campaign. In the fall of 2013, he asked for $500,000 on Kickstarter to fund a sequel to his movie Postal (Rotten Tomatoes rating: 8 percent); he wound up with less than $30,000. Next he switched to Indiegogo, and asked for $100,000 CAD to make Rampage 3. That one raised just $6,000. So he went back to Kickstarter for yet another stab at Rampage 3, but so far things are not looking good.

Can you believe people didn’t want to give $55,000 (or $100,000 CAD [or $500,000]) to Uwe Boll to make a movie?!? Truly, this is what it feels like to be alone in the dark.

Things are going so poorly, in fact, that Boll released a video on YouTube titled “f--- you all,” a 90-second tirade against anyone with the temerity not to give him $55,000 to make Rampage 3 (which is technically the totality of Earth’s population minus 260 people). Typically, when people are trying to rally their fanbase at the end of a crowdfunding campaign they send out words of encouragement and positive energy. Uwe Boll went a different way and essentially condemned all of humanity. A bold strategy! Here’s the video (note that it contains a fair amount of NSFW language):

Look, I’m not a crowdfunding expert by any stretch of the imagination. But it just seems to me that if you want people to donate money to your film, maybe bragging that you already have “enough money to play golf until I’m dead,” is not the best sales pitch. Just because people watch Donald Trump on TV doesn’t mean they’re going to give him $500,000 to make more Celebrity Apprentice.

(I will say, though, that I love calling Avengers: Age of Ultron “Marvel Avengers Bulls--- Dirt.” Bulls--- Dirt? I don’t know what that means, but that’s what I’m calling it from now on.)

Ironically, these Rampage movies advocate for the violent overthrow of the U.S. government and the destruction of the capitalist system. The trailer for Rampage 2features the film’s main character looking into the camera and instructing viewers to “kill the rich.” In fact, many of Boll’s recent movies follow characters on extreme (but, in the eyes of the film, morally justified) murder sprees, often with the express purpose of destroying those with extreme wealth — like 2013’s Assault on Wall Street. To Boll, anyone with money (except himself) is a target. So just to be safe, I guess, you might want to consider giving your life’s savings to Uwe Boll. You’ve still got a few more days before the Kickstarter’s over.

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