In this week's dose of ridiculous we've got some news from those jokers at Lionsgate and promises of progress on long-gestating film projects. Batman tours America in the worst thing to happen to the caped crusader since Joel Schumacher, and 'The Office' just won't die already.

Of the seven or eight names on Lionsgate’s shortlist for directors to replace Gary Ross on ‘The Hunger Games’ sequel ‘Catching Fire,’ three were leaked: Alfonso Cuaron (somewhat reasonable), Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu (huh?), and David Cronenberg. Yes, that David Cronenberg. While Lionsgate is understandably trying to appease author Suzanne Collins, who worked closely with Ross on ‘The Hunger Games,’ isn’t the name Cronenberg just a bit laughable? There’s nothing about ‘The Hunger Games’ that could possibly attract Cronenberg, unless there’s some heretofore unheard of sexual deviancy between Katniss and that bread boy. It’s called a shortlist, not a wish list, Lionsgate, but you keep chasing those waterfalls.

Even more ridiculous? There isn’t a single female director on that shortlist. Not one. No Kathryn Bigelow, Karyn Kusama, Debra Granik, et al. Even Catherine Hardwicke, which would be a sensible but still sort of silly choice, is missing from this list. A series written by a woman and featuring a strong female lead and the best you come up with is Cronenberg?

 

The Office
NBC
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With cast members exiting left and right, including producer Paul Lieberstein (Toby) and Rainn Wilson (with his own Dwight-centric spin-off in the works – ridiculous in its own right), perhaps it’s time to put this old girl out to pasture? No? In the immortal words of Gob Bluth: Come on! Creator Greg Daniels is discussing a possible reboot at the start of next season with contracts ending at the end of spring for John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, and BJ Novak, Daniels is toying with the concept of bringing in a whole new cast while keeping a few supporting characters in the mix. Hey Daniels, here’s an idea: Get an idea for a new show. Move on. It’s time to let this one go. This last season has left most viewers cold with the absence of Steve Carrell and the now smarmy Jim/Pam coupling that’s gotten too comfortable for its own good. Let it die while it still has some vague remnants of dignity hanging in that dusty annex next to Toby’s trash bin.

 

Arrested Development, Sin City
Fox, Dimension Films
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Arrested Development’ and ‘Sin City 2’ Are Still Supposedly Happening

Those things that they keep telling us are moving forward soon are supposedly actually moving forward soon, according to the people who keep telling us these things and failing to deliver. An official press release says Robert Rodriguez is re-teaming with Frank Miller (who is somehow still allowed near film equipment after ‘The Spirit’ ate that charming Gabriel Macht fellow) to start production on ‘Frank Miller’s Sin City: A Dame To Kill For’ this summer – not to be confused with Nevada’s Sin City or the Playboy Channel’s Sin City or whatever.

Speaking to ‘The Today Show,’ Will Arnett says the ‘Arrested Development’ project (an episode for each character that will be available via Netflix and the feature film) is finally shooting this summer. The death of the show and promise of said feature film has caused us all to collectively experience the five stages of grief twice over in such a way that we are all now eternally bonded brothers and sisters under the one singular, universal truth known as “BUT WHYYYYY.”

In both cases, we’ll believe it when we see it, gentlemen.

 

Batman Live
BatmanLive.com
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An interview with the people behind the ‘Batman Live’ stage show was released this week featuring footage from said show. Aside from absurd character overload and Batman’s redundant wire-assisted glides over the stage, the show looks – how do we put this delicately – intellectually challenged? Not very good?

At least it looks laughably awful, which is the best kind of awful there is, and the kids in their Batman pajamas in the audience look like they’re having a great time. It gives that ‘Twilight’ impression – that thing where something was originally created to be stimulating for grown-ups, but was so ridiculous that they acknowledged a younger audience and re-purposed it for said younger audience. Congratulations, ‘Batman Live,’ you’re the stage show equivalent of Bella Swan’s repressed sexuality and you look like something Joel Schumacher commissioned for a velvet painting after he saw a vision in his vomit.

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