This is a fun little video curio to brighten your Monday. Tucked away in a random corner of YouTube for the last five years has been a clip titled ‘Paramount Today ... Where the Future Goes On.’ The description says it’s presumably something that was made by the studio “for Hollywood insiders [and] investors,” and it details the company’s upcoming slate for 1985 and the rest of the decade. And it’s a very entertaining, behind-the-scenes look at the movie hype machine some 30 years ago.

You’ll notice a lot of movies you recognize in unrecognizable forms. ‘Top Gun’ is called ‘Top Guns’ (the title of the article upon which the film was based) and there’s no mention of Tom Cruise. The ‘Chinatown’ sequel is called ‘Two Jakes,’ a creation of writer and director Robert Towne; the finished version was ‘The Two Jakes’ and it was directed by star Jack Nicholson after Towne quit the project.

They don’t have a title for the third ‘Indiana Jones’ yet, so it’s just ‘Indiana Jones: An All New Adventure (Trust Us).’ They don’t have a subtitle for ‘Star Trek IV’ yet, so it’s just ‘Star Trek IV.’ And it’s so early in pre-production on ‘Hook,’ that all Paramount has to show for it is a ‘Peter Pan’ title card. (This version of the movie fell apart in the mid-80s; Spielberg ultimately made ‘Hook’ for Tri-Star.) The video also tease a remake of 1950’s ‘Last Holiday.’ The finished film, starring Queen Latifah, wouldn’t open in theaters until 2006, about twenty years behind schedule. Now that’s what I call development hell.