Johnny Depp’s Dumb Hats, Ranked
Johnny Depp has worn many hats . Not in the artistic sense (though he's also written and directed a film, and produced a handful of others, and has even been known to sing on command). No, we mean in the literal sense. The man has literally worn many dumb hats. His fondness for hats (on-screen, at least) can be traced as far back as '21 Jump Street,' and ever since then he's been insistent on making headwear some sort of affectation or statement or "his thing." It's not an exaggeration, either. Just when you think you've found a film in which Johnny Depp does not wear a hat ... boom, he sneaks one in on you. Here, we've collected and ranked Johnny Depp's dumb hats from his on-screen appearances, ranked in order from least dumb to the absolute dumbest. (To include the many dumb hats he wears off-screen would be too exhaustive.)
- 33
'The Astronaut's Wife'
This isn't a very dumb hat. Space hats are pretty cool.
New LineNew Line - 32
'Platoon'
War hat. Respect. His face is pretty dumb in it, though.
OrionOrion - 31
'Arizona Dream'
A baseball cap is perhaps the most subversive of Johnny Depp hats. Plain and unassuming.
Warner Bros.Warner Bros. - 30
'Edward Scissorhands'
You would think Edward would not wear a hat. You would think wrong.
20th Century Fox20th Century Fox - 29
'Lucky Them'
Johnny Depp makes a cameo as a friendly neighborhood hobo.
IFC FilmsIFC Films - 28
'Once Upon a Time in Mexico'
Displaying surprising restraint.
ColumbiaColumbia - 27
'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'
Well, Hunter S. Thompson also wore some pretty dumb hats. We'll give him that one.
UniversalUniversal - 26
'Dead Man'
Existential hat.
MiramaxMiramax - 25
'Benny and Joon'
Accessories do not give you personality and make inherently charming. Even most 13 year-olds know this.
MGMMGM - 24
'Donnie Brasco'
Undercover dummy.
Columbia TriStarColumbia TriStar - 23
'From Hell'
This is literally the only scene in which he wears a hat. He couldn't resist.
20th Century Fox20th Century Fox - 22
'The Man Who Cried'
Important historical hat.
UniversalUniversal - 21
'Dark Shadows'
More like Dumb Shadows AM I RIGHT high five
Warner Bros.Warner Bros. - 20
'Don Juan DeMarco'
Early prototype for 'Secret Window.'
New LineNew Line - 19
'The Rum Diary'
The Wicker Hat.
FilmDistrictFilmDistrict - 18
'Finding Neverland'
Pharrell's dumb hat has nothing on Depp. Bonus Dustin Hoffman in a classy hat for comparison.
MiramaxMiramax - 17
'Public Enemies'
This should be a classic, but it's just proportioned all wrong. It's like he looks at every hat and thinks, "How can I make it bigger and dumber?"
UniversalUniversal - 16
'Mortdecai'
A silly old man's hat, perfect for nightly power-walks or investigating the mystery of who stole the crossword from your Sunday paper.
LionsgateLionsgate - 15
'Secret Window'
Demented Amish hat or "artistic statement"?
SonySony - 14
'Pirates of the Caribbean'
Four movies of dumb pirate hat, but at least pirates should wear hats, so we'll go easier on this one.
DisneyDisney - 13
'21 Jump Street'
The first appearance of what has become the classic casual Depp hat.
FoxFox - 12
'Benny and Joon'
This is where he started to believe that dumb hats make him quirky.
MGMMGM - 11
'The Libertine'
Spends most of the film without a dumb hat, and then sneaks one up on you.
The Weinstein CompanyThe Weinstein Company - 10
'Life's Too Short'
Dumb hat's too big.
HBOHBO - 9
'Arizona Dream'
A proper and dainty hat.
Warner Bros.Warner Bros. - 8
'21 Jump Street'
Undercover acorn.
FoxFox - 7
'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'
The uncanny valley of top hats.
Warner Bros.Warner Bros. - 6
'The Fast Show'
Johnny Depp's head went through a Bret Michaels phase after spending a summer watching 'Rock of Love' reruns on VH1.
BBCBBC - 5
'Jack and Jill'
It has its own belt to keep it snugly strapped onto his head.
ColumbiaColumbia - 4
'Finding Neverland'
He found feathers.
MiramaxMiramax - 3
'Alice in Wonderland'
Like your grandma's curtains, this thing is so hideous not even the dog will pee on it.
DisneyDisney - 2
'Into the Woods'
Into the bottom of a mass-produced pimp costume bag from a Halloween store.
Disney/EWDisney/EW - 1
'The Lone Ranger'
This one has the high honor of serving a dual purpose: not only is it Johnny Depp's dumbest headwear, but it's offensive.
DisneyDisney
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