Johnny Depp has worn many hats . Not in the artistic sense (though he's also written and directed a film, and produced a handful of others, and has even been known to sing on command). No, we mean in the literal sense. The man has literally worn many dumb hats. His fondness for hats (on-screen, at least) can be traced as far back as '21 Jump Street,' and ever since then he's been insistent on making headwear some sort of affectation or statement or "his thing." It's not an exaggeration, either. Just when you think you've found a film in which Johnny Depp does not wear a hat ... boom, he sneaks one in on you. Here, we've collected and ranked Johnny Depp's dumb hats from his on-screen appearances, ranked in order from least dumb to the absolute dumbest. (To include the many dumb hats he wears off-screen would be too exhaustive.)
'The Astronaut's Wife'
This isn't a very dumb hat. Space hats are pretty cool.
War hat. Respect. His face is pretty dumb in it, though.
A baseball cap is perhaps the most subversive of Johnny Depp hats. Plain and unassuming.
You would think Edward would not wear a hat. You would think wrong.
Johnny Depp makes a cameo as a friendly neighborhood hobo.
'Once Upon a Time in Mexico'
Displaying surprising restraint.
'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'
Well, Hunter S. Thompson also wore some pretty dumb hats. We'll give him that one.
'Benny and Joon'
Accessories do not give you personality and make inherently charming. Even most 13 year-olds know this.
This is literally the only scene in which he wears a hat. He couldn't resist.
'The Man Who Cried'
Important historical hat.
More like Dumb Shadows AM I RIGHT high five
'Don Juan DeMarco'
Early prototype for 'Secret Window.'
'The Rum Diary'
The Wicker Hat.
Pharrell's dumb hat has nothing on Depp. Bonus Dustin Hoffman in a classy hat for comparison.
This should be a classic, but it's just proportioned all wrong. It's like he looks at every hat and thinks, "How can I make it bigger and dumber?"
A silly old man's hat, perfect for nightly power-walks or investigating the mystery of who stole the crossword from your Sunday paper.
Demented Amish hat or "artistic statement"?
'Pirates of the Caribbean'
Four movies of dumb pirate hat, but at least pirates should wear hats, so we'll go easier on this one.
'21 Jump Street'
The first appearance of what has become the classic casual Depp hat.
'Benny and Joon'
This is where he started to believe that dumb hats make him quirky.
Spends most of the film without a dumb hat, and then sneaks one up on you.
'Life's Too Short'
Dumb hat's too big.
A proper and dainty hat.
'21 Jump Street'
'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'
The uncanny valley of top hats.
'The Fast Show'
Johnny Depp's head went through a Bret Michaels phase after spending a summer watching 'Rock of Love' reruns on VH1.
'Jack and Jill'
It has its own belt to keep it snugly strapped onto his head.
He found feathers.
'Alice in Wonderland'
Like your grandma's curtains, this thing is so hideous not even the dog will pee on it.
'Into the Woods'
Into the bottom of a mass-produced pimp costume bag from a Halloween store.
'The Lone Ranger'
This one has the high honor of serving a dual purpose: not only is it Johnny Depp's dumbest headwear, but it's offensive.