Apparently the failure of 'Battleship' just wasn't enough to convince Hasbro to get out of the movie business. The company announced today that they're partnering with Sony and Adam Sandler's own Happy Madison productions to make a movie about Tonka trucks.

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Yes, they are making a movie about Tonka trucks. This isn't their first deal with Sony and Happy Madison, either -- last year the studios made a deal to adapt Hasbro's Candy Land, which will inevitably become a film where Adam Sandler plays every character, and can finally say without reservation and with what little dignity he has left, "Suck it, Eddie Murphy."

Sony also has the rights to an adaptation of Risk, which Happy Madison is not involved in, presumably because Adam Sandler read the title and thought, "I don't take those."

From the press release:

The new TONKA project strengthens the growing ties between Sony Pictures and Hasbro, following the announcements that Sony Pictures is developing motion pictures based on Hasbro’s RISK and CANDY LAND brands. CANDY LAND is also a Happy Madison project.

Commenting on the announcement, Osher said, “In its 65 years, TONKA has become more than a toy or a brand – TONKA trucks are a rite of passage for kids all around the world. Time spent with these toys creates memories that last a lifetime as kids are inspired to play using the boundaries of their imagination. We look forward to creating a family friendly motion picture that brings the TONKA experience to life.”

Here's what that press release really means: Synergy, synergy, opportunities for consumer cross-overs and we're thinking about Burger King, synergy, "project" sounds mature.

The second part is a little confusing. "Boundaries of their imagination" reads like kids can't think outside of being construction workers. We all deserve the right to dream big and have our hopes crushed, Hasbro. Also, are Tonka trucks a rite of passage, like a Bar Mitzvah or your first kiss or weird hair and feelings in strange, new places?

One last thing: the Tonka experience has already been brought to life on highways, Mondays-Thursdays from 9 pm to 5 am. The left lanes are closed, but the Tonka experience is still very much open to anyone with a hard hat and a dream.