See New Teasers for Disney’s ‘Avatar’ Theme Park, the Trippiest Place on EarthCharles Bramesco |
So long as you’re not bothered by the ruthless capitalistic spirit of six-dollar bottled water and don’t stumble into the clandestine facility concealed within the giant Epcot globe, everyone loves Disney’s amusement parks. They earned the title of Happiest Place on Earth through a militant doctrine of mandated cheer, and with a new area based on James Cameron’s unkillable sci-fi series Avatar opening soon, they’ll add the distinction of Trippiest Place on Earth to their pedigree. Today brings two brief sneak peeks at the facility set to open this summer at the Animal Kingdom in Walt Disney World, and it’s like you can already hear the hallucinating 20-year-olds begging to be let off the ride.
The newest, hottest destination for taking LSD in Orlando features two major attractions, each of which is teased in one of the videos. In the Na’vi River Journey, visitors hop aboard a small boat to drift at a leisurely pace through a bioluminescent fantasia complete with Day-Glo flora and those creepy tentacle-maned alien-wolves. The lazy-river structure of the ride marks it as Pandora’s equivalent to It’s A Small World.
The second video hypes the Avatar Flight of Passage ride, in which park-goers can simulate the experience of jacking their ponytail-tendrils into one of the mutant dragons called “Banshees” and flying high above this lush alien world. Consider this the extraterrestrial sister ride to the popular Soarin’, exploring the bizarre terrain of Pandora instead of the bizarre terrain of California.
May 27 marks opening day, and theme park aficionados will have quite a bit to mull over. Cameron has boasted about the more technologically sophisticated theme park ever built, immersive rides that’ll liquefy your brain and leave it oozing out of your earholes — everyone’s eager to see if he can back it all up.