Weezer is doing this Hootenanny thing where fans (still?) get to play along with the band. Unfortunately, they forgot one thing: There is a reason most fans playing and singing is confined to late night drinking binges in dorm rooms and karaoke bars (Hint: they sound AWFUL.)  I mean, it’s very, like, Web 2.0 of Weezer and all, to hang out and sing songs with their fans, and “share the love,” etc.  and then have someone post the video to Vimeo, not force them to take it down Prince-style, and then watch more love filter in.  BUT SERIOUSLY.  Is this really what we want from our performers these days?  Not to hear them, but to hear us?

Girl Talk, the brainchild of electronic musician Greg Gillis, is releasing their next album “Radiohead style” sometime later this week via the Illegal Art website.  Greg Gillis explains to Pitchfork,

First of all, there’s a lot of current pop and hip-hop sampled on the album, and I wanted to get it out there as soon as possible.

. . .
So for this one, I feel like I’m in a fairly lucky situation to have people who want to hear it already before even hearing it. That much is a rare thing in my career so far. I think what we went for seems like an obvious game plan now, just because as soon as it hits the internet, anyone who reads the internet can get it for free if they want to. So why not tap in and let them actually take a step back and think about it, and maybe offer some money? It seemed to make sense, especially because kids who listen to my music are probably fairly attached to the internet and can get it for free if they actually want to.

*Insert applause here*

To tide you over, here’s some Girl Talk YouTubery:

More Girl Talk videos

6. Dashboard Confessional, “Vindicated”

There’s something extra sad about getting pumped up by a song from a superhero movie, especially when the movie features a guy swinging around in tights. Still, this is a great pop song. And even though Dashboard Confessional is nowhere near as good as indie rock emo peddlers Death Cab For Cutie, have they ever rocked this hard?

5. Coldplay “Fix You”

Capturing Chris Martin at his stoned-helium-voice-worst, Coldplay’s “Fix You,” is everything that’s wrong with Coldplay: It’s bland, vaguely optimistic, cheesy, dopey, bashful, sleepy, happy (see what I did there?), but it’s hard not to like the chord progression and message of the song, as dumb as it may be.

There is something genuinely charming about “Fix You.” It’s a bit like watching a dopey (there it is again) Adam Sandler comedy hungover on a Sunday morning; You always know he’ll get the way-out-of-his-league-girl at the end of the movie, but it’s still kinda/sorta fun watching him stumble around trying to get there.

I’m going to go puke now.

4. Avril Lavigne “Girlfriend”

Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” may have the worst lyric in the history of western music with — and I quote — “Hell yeah, I’m the muthafuckin’ princess” (though, I’m sure Toby Keith has equally bad). But something about the crunchy over compressed guitar and vocals along with the handclaps just works for me. Plus, for some reason I will never understand — NEVER — I find Avril attractive and dream about her singing this song to me. Ugh.

3. New Radicals “You Get What You Give”

The New Radical’s one and only hit “You Get What You Give” should be hated if for no other reason then it was cribbed right from the U2 songbook. It also features incredibly annoying front man Gregg Alexander.

Blech. I feel terrible about this one. But, hey, it’s better than secretly liking Smash Mouth’s “All Star” or Sugar Ray’s “Fly.”

2. Tom Petty “Free Fallin’”

Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” has been played a bagillionzillion times, and that alone is enough to hate it. Seriously. Bagillionzillion. I think he got a plaque or something for it.

But I can’t hate it. It’s THE perfect pop song. Plus, I love Tom Petty unconditionally, clunky lyrics and all.

1. Toby Keith “Beer For My Horses”

I’m not sure what hurts more: Willie Nelson singing with Toby Keith in “Beer for My Horses” or appearing with Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard. At least with “Beer for My Horses,” I get to hear Willie sing “Grandpappy told my pappy.” I think that almost makes up for singing with Toby Keith. Almost.

MTV said today they had pull back on the shot of Seth Rogan and James Franco smoking pot (real or otherwise) at the last minute in yesterday’s MTV Movie Awards because, “It would lead to good times had by all and a further desire to watch music videos and/or put in an old VHS cassette of Beavis and Butthead.” It continues, “It would be a sad day for MTV and a sad day for all the young kids reliant upon MTV for the encouragement of binge drinking and unsafe sex.”

Um, so… They didn’t really say that. And who cares whether they showed Seth Rogan and James Franco smoking weed anyway? Certainly, if I cared, I would have been watching. Here’s the clip if you care to watch it:

If you haven’t seen the Weezer video for Pork and Beans yet, essentially, it just puts Weezer (and Rivers’ cool moustache) together with a bunch of YouTube celebs.

Everyone seems to like the new Weezer video. Especially internet people. Not me.

This song/video is exactly what’s wrong with Weezer. Instead of giving us earnest, poignant moments of raw emotion (Pinkerton) they give us this post-90’s meta crap. Look, if I want the internets, I’ll go on the internets. If I want music, I want real f*cking music. Not this over-ironic we’re too cool to give two sh*ts about anything.

I want my eyes to well up with tears, to feel the blood flowing from my wrists. (Too far? Sorry. Strike that from the record.) You know what I’m saying, though. I want the feeling I got when I first listened OK Computer all the way through on my super-sized $100 Discman. Or when I ran home from the store with In Utero and ripped the plastic off as fast as humanly possible (which is not that fast, apparently).

Granted, the video is well done, funny, and charming even. But this is so tired. Please! No more Chocolate Rain, no more Leave Britney Alone Guy, no more guys on treadmills. It’s funny. It is. But only for half-a-day and then we move on.

For example, I don’t talk to my friends about the first time I watched Chocolate Rain (or will about Pork and Beans). I don’t get really drunk and blow out the speakers to the video for OK Go. No, those special moments are reserved for real achievements. Leave the interwebs to us talentless oversharers.

And I don’t think, “Wow, I really want to be Chris Crocker someday” (though, some people might). I did, however, once want to be in Weezer — to BE Weezer, in fact — and imagined it several times. Once, Weezer was the soundtrack to countless daydreams. Now it’s just the soundtrack to stupid YouTube videos.

. . .

Okay, sorry, I think for a moment there I turned into Bob Lefsetz. I swear, I’m back now. And here is a meme that needs to happen — if nothing else, just so it can show up in the next Weezer video:

When I get bored or stressed out I like to watch old video games on YouTube. I find the simplicity of the gameplay and music makes the world seem small and conquerable. So every Friday, I present you with a different gem from the past.

This week’s game: Bubble Bobble. Enjoy!

Video of people being punched in the face (via Waxy)

Compilation of Steve Carell saying “That’s what she said” (via Kottke)

Photos of TV (via Buzzfeed)

Ten Colbert clips you probably haven’t seen (via TV Squad)

Old guy attempting beer pong slam dunk (via Deadspin)

Michael Showalter is so indie (via Videogum)

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” on the Wii (via Waxy)

What. The. F*ck. Has Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo completely lost it? Rivers has been putting together a song based on fan submissions from YouTube piece by piece. It seems mad. But it’s incredibly funny, and actually a sort-of brilliant idea. It’s likely this song will be better than half the stuff on the last four albums (including the new one). Below is the clip of Rivers putting together the bridge and talking like a chipmunk.

(via Stereogum)

Fergie visited The Today Show this morning in order to prove that sexiness begins before the kids go school. Mmm. Think of all the awkward silences around the breakfast table. (Ok, I realize no one actually sits around the table for breakfast anymore, but just bear with me for a minute.)

And then to see Fergie not only butcher Heart’s Barracuda, but writhe around making sex noises in front 10 year old boys dragged to the show by their mothers hoping to get a whiff of Meredith Viera’s perfume. Barra-cooties, anyone?

(via A Socialite’s Life)