Despite not airing on Comedy Central until September 2, the James Franco roast was held last night in Los Angeles with frequent Franco collaborators like Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill and frequent roasters like Jeff Ross and Sarah Silverman on hand to joke at the actor’s expense. And, let’s face it, Franco is a pretty easy target. From his stint hosting the Oscars to his, uh, ambiguous sexual orientation, there was a lot of fun to had. And, even those who weren’t Franco got hit pretty hard (see: lots of Jonah Hill jokes).
Here are some of the best lines from the James Franco roast, though we’ll caution not everything here will necessarily make air on Comedy Central.
"Judd Apatow was going to direct this roast, but Comedy Central didn’t want it to be 40 minutes too long.”
“Look at me doing all the talking while you sit there doing nothing. I feel like I’m cohosting the Oscars with you.”
“If at any point James fully opens his eyes tonight, there will be six more weeks of summer.”
“James Franco: acting, teaching, directing, writing, producing, photography, soundtracks, editing — is there anything you can do?”
When Jonah’s agent told him that Quentin Tarantino wanted him to be in a spaghetti western, Jonah was like, ‘You had me at spaghetti!’”
"Franco, you look like you’re asleep. Did you just read a James Franco book?"
"Jonah Hill was going to be in the last Transformers movie but they cut the role of the car that transformed into a giant a--hole after it was nominated for an Oscar."
This dais is so Jewey. What is this, the Comedy Central audit of James Franco?”
“James has acted alongside some amazing actors — Robert DeNiro, Tommy Lee Jones. He once played opposite an unruly chimp with giant teeth but it was worth it because Eat, Pray, Love turned out awesome."
On agreeing to be roasted: "I wanted to do something that has zero artistic value, something nobody will remember three months from now, something that’s offensive, homophobic and stars horrifically untalented people and something that’s only a big deal to a handful of teenage stoners on Twitter. You might say, ‘James, didn’t you just describe Your Highness? I wouldn’t know I didn’t see Your Highness.”
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