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Oh, Lindsay: Lohan to Team With Porn Star For Next Film

Lindsay Lohan
Frederick M. Brown, Getty Images

This seemed inevitable. In fact, most of you probably are surprised it took this long. But for her next “acting” gig, Lindsay Lohan will appear opposite a porn star. And that, my friends, is the death knell ringing on a once-promising career.

OK, so maybe the project has a little more credibility than we’re suggesting … . The movie’s titled ‘The Canyons,’ which will be written by ‘American Psycho’ author and screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis. The author confirmed via Twitter that the Kickstarter campaign he launched to raise funds for the movie succeeded, and he’s moving forward with Lohan and James Deen in the leads.

I am beyond thrilled that James Deen and Lindsay Lohan will be playing the parts of Christian and Tara. Shooting THE CANYONS July 9-31 in L.A. Could not have dreamed of a better cast. Lindsay nailed it.

Consider us skeptical. About the only thing Lohan has nailed recently is an 18-wheeler that allegedly cut her off in Los Angeles on the way to the set of her Lifetime movie. Never mind the fact that her probation prevents her from operating a motor vehicle. Speaking of, it’s entirely possible, following allegations that she lied to police after her recent traffic accident, that Ms. Lohan could be found in violation of said probation putting her ability to work on any project in serious jeopardy.

At least legitimate pulp director Paul Schrader will direct the film, which reportedly delivers a contemporary thriller about twenty-somethings establishing their place in a vapid universe. So yeah, it’s basically everything Ellis has done before, just with Lohan and a guy whose resume has nearly a thousand porn titles. Classy.

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