There are plenty of reasons to be grateful for The LEGO Movie: a surprisingly clever take on the mega toy manufacturer, the “Everything Is Awesome” song, Chris Pratt, et al. But for everything wonderful that The LEGO Movie gave us, it also opened the door for a world of bad movie ideas. Not only are we getting things like a movie based on emojis, Play-Doh and Minecraft, but now some genius has decided that PEZ candy would make for a great movie, too.

The only legitimate response to this news is NOPE. A press release announced the PEZ candy movie, which will be written by Cameron Fay for Envision Media Arts. Fay previously wrote the upcoming film Brother in Laws, which features a pretty amazing cast of funny people, including Taran Killam, Gillian Jacobs, Bobby Moynihan and David Wain. He’s also set to write the screenplay for The Three Stooges sequel.

Fay seems like a pretty talented guy with a good sense of humor — maybe he thought the PEZ movie was a joke? It’s not really clear exactly how the little rectangular tabs of fruit candy could inspire a narrative film, however, there is an endless supply of potential characters for an animated property — PEZ dispensers feature characters both classic and new, ranging from the Peanuts gang to Universal monsters to Disney and Warner Bros. characters.

The LEGO Movie was able to combine characters from various franchises into one film because LEGO could easily work out those rights issues given its ownership of the characters in LEGO form. But can the PEZ company do the same? Do we need to see a bunch of cartoon heads bopping about on dispenser bodies? Can whatever conceit these people cook up possibly sustain itself for 90 minutes? Would the PEZ characters eating PEZ candy constitute cannibalism?

Are we really even having a discussion about a PEZ movie right now?

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