Some people stand in the darkness. Some people make movie versions of campy ’90s television series about lifeguards. It’s gonna be all right. They’re always ready, they won’t let you out of their sight, etc.
Baywatch continues its advertising campaign with a new set of motion posters to showcase each character that include Dwayne Johnson giving us the finger, Zac Efron getting his tongue stuck to the glass, and Priyanka Chopra being an ice queen.
Much like the warmer seasons, that Baywatch movie continues to come at us right on schedule. A new series of character posters copies one very well-known Game of Thrones phrase almost verbatim, but tweaks it juuust a little bit. Dwayne Johnson and his lifeguard crew are here to assure us that “summer is coming,” and Baywatch is coming right along with it.
“Everything that you guys are talking about sounds like a really entertaining but far-fetched TV show” — so says Zac Efron in the new international trailer for Baywatch, which combines the self-awareness of 21 Jump Street (or seems to be trying to do that) with the ridiculous action of your average Dwayne Johnson movie. The latest trailer for the comedic retread of the classic ’90s TV series drops the green-band pleasantries for a profanity-laden, NSFW sneak peek at the upcoming film, and though we’re not 100 percent sold on it just yet, Baywatch looks pretty darn watchable, at the very least.
It’s the holiday season, which means cozying up with family to It’s a Wonderful Life for the umpteenth year in a row, or giving and receiving presents from loved ones, or trawling the internet looking for “Happy Holidays!” tweets from your favorite Hollywood celebrities. Yesterday, the cast of the new Baywatch movie, all decked out in seasonally appropriate Santa hats and mistletoe accessories, posted a special Christmas message to their fans.
It has become increasingly apparent that the best thing a revival of a tired ‘80s pop-culture artifact can be is the neo-21 Jump Street, judging by the new trailer for the Dwayne Johnson-fronted Baywatch. The parallels are striking: we’ve got the central odd couple in the Rock’s bombastic beach hero and Zac Efron’s hard-partying young gun, light meta touches about “reviving the brand,” some playful winks to the core goofiness of the source material (the “why does she always look like she’s running in slow motion?” line may be the best of the clip), even a scene where our heroes are dressed down by a furious black cop. You may call it derivative, but I call it a good start.
Who watches the Baywatchmen? All of us, okay. We are all going to be watching the Baywatch movie, because, still, none of us can believe it actually exists. It must be seen. It must be experienced. And if you’re just dying to know what we’re all in for, look no further than this teaser Dwayne Johnson posted on his Twitter today, and stay tuned for tomorrow’s first trailer.
2016 has already been a bastard of a year: beloved public figures died, Nazis became a thing again, America began its slow skid into fascism, and Bones got cancelled. When do the hits stop coming? Is there no respite from the barrage of tragedies that this monstrous year has heaped upon us? No, no there is not. Because throughout the seemingly unending cluster-F-word of 2016, one light on the horizon has held us up, both as a nation and as a human species. From indignity to indignity, we’ve always been able to pin our hopes on the glorious day of May 19, 2017 — known to you and I, of course, as the release date for the Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson-led reboot of beloved ‘90s lifeguard soap opera Baywatch. But even after this year’s parade of tragedies, [Don LaFontaine voice] there is one tragedy more.
If you are going to make a Baywatch movie — even one that’s a tongue-in-cheek satire of the original — there’s a few things you’ve got to have. You need men and women in red bathing suits. You need people running on the beach in slow motion. You need that magnificent theme song. You need at least one reference to Baywatch Nights. And you need David Hasslehoff and Pamela Anderson.
It’s not enough to inspire #SquadGoals, but at least the cast of Baywatch looks like they’re having a blast in the latest photo update from Dwayne Johnson. The actor shows off his new squad, and sure, this could be a photo from the Baywatch set — or it could be the centerfold in a Macy’s summer catalogue. Baywatch Squadgate 2016, you be the judge