At long last, Andy Samberg’s HBO followup to tennis mockumentary 7 Days in Hell is finally here, as the Brooklyn Nine-Nine star takes on the world of competitive cycling. Watch the star-studded first trailer for Tour de Pharmacy, which itself is already doping up for a July premiere.
We don’t really need further evidence that we are living in a total nightmare (or an alternate timeline, if you’re one of Those People), but then a piece of news comes along that forces us to confront the true horror of reality by offering a painful glimpse at a beautiful life that could’ve been — and never was (at least not in this timeline, if you’re one of Those People). Today, it’s the heartbreaking revelation that Jeff Goldblum — national treasure, king of the silver foxes and master of the universe — could have been the voice of Siri on your iPhone. In the mournful words of the wise Adele, WE COULD’VE HAD IT AAAALLLLLL.
Hotel Artemis just became even more exciting with the addition of four more fantastic cast members: Jeff Goldblum, Jenny Slate, Sterling K. Brown and Charlie Day have all signed on for the feature directorial debut from Iron Man 3 screenwriter Drew Pearce. The quartet of stars join Jodie Foster, who headlines the sci-fi thriller that sounds a little like a futuristic version of the Continental in John Wick — except instead of a hotel for assassins, it’s an underground hospital.
People of Earth, I would like to call your attention to Exhibit B in today’s case for recognizing Jeff Goldblum as a national treasure (or…monument? Can we do that?): While discussing his role as the eccentric Goldblum-esque Grandmaster in Thor: Ragnarok, the actor revealed, in his typical quirky-casual fashion, that he’s developed his very own Jeff Goldblum ranking system — and he’s graciously given director Taika Waititi the highest-possible rating.
Jeff Goldblum is a National Treasure (like, is Nicolas Cage looking for him, or what?), the latest evidence of which can be found in a charmingly off-kilter new interview, wherein the actor, jazz enthusiast and surprise sausage salesman talks about returning to the Jurassic Park franchise — or, as he likes to call it, “dino-entertainment.” And the series is about to get a whole lot more entertaining now that Dr. Ian Malcolm is back.
We knew Always Sunny cast like Danny DeVito might take additional projects over hiatus, but Jeff Goldblum leading an Amazon series? We will definitely, uh, find a way. The once and future Jurassic Park star will lead a new Amazon musician comedy alongside DeVito, featuring the two as “an iconic music duo from the past.”
Holy freakin’ cow — that is basically the only practical response to tonight’s late-breaking news. Jeff Goldblum is officially returning to the land of the dinosaurs to reprise his iconic role as Dr. Ian Malcolm in the upcoming Jurassic World sequel. Will he remove his shirt? Will he deliver the signature goofy laugh that spawned one of the greatest YouTube remixes of all time? Will he be bringing any of his former co-stars (like Laura Dern, who recently expressed an interest) with him? We have, uh, so many questions.
If you thought the first official photos of Thor: Ragnarok were wild, just wait till you get a taste of the new teaser trailer. The third solo outing for the God of Thunder isn’t just any new Marvel movie, but a distinctly Taika Waititi one. That means it’s going to be a heck of a lot more fun than you’d imagine.
That first official look at Thor: Ragnarok may have been a bit of a shock to the system — Chris Hemsworth’s haircut should come with a warning label. But now that we’ve all gotten acclimated to this radical (and rad because that magazine cover was so very ’90s) change, how about even more new photos from the Thor sequel? Loki returns, Jeff Goldblum gets spacey, and Cate Blanchett goes full mystical-goth in these additional sneak peeks from Taika Waititi’s highly-anticipated sequel.
Wes Anderson popped back up last month with a charming holiday-appropriate commercial for H&M, his first new work since 2014’s The Grand Budapest Hotel. It was neat, but a pale substitute for a new feature. Fortunately, Anderson fans (or, as we’re more commonly called, Wes Fan-dersons) can take solace that his next major effort is well on its way: Anderson resurfaced today with a three-minute video in which he introduces the cast and first snippet of footage from his upcoming Isle of Dogs, a stop-motion animated project that returns to the talking-animal precocity of Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox.