Way Back When: Leonardo DiCaprio
Sure, we all remember young Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘Titanic’ and ‘Romeo + Juliet,’ but before that he earned a living with much smaller parts on TV and one particularly awful horror sequel. In today’s Way Back When, we’ll introduce you to a younger DiCaprio, back before you were taping posters of him to your walls.
So we all remember most of his younger parts in films from ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?’ to ‘The Basketball Diaries,’ but what about before that?
Bubble Yum Commercial
You guys remember Bubble Yum, right? That sugary, totally radical bubble gum that touted the elasticity one needs to blow obnoxious bubbles and piss off the establishment of your parents or whatever? Young Leo starred in this brief commercial for the gum, in which he compares it to a boombox that’s “tune-humpin’.” Whatever that means.
A couple of years after that Bubble Yum commercial, Leo played the part of a young Mason Capwell on the daytime soap ‘Santa Barbara.’ First, let’s pause and appreciate the name “Mason Capwell” because that is some first-rate soap opera character-naming right there. Anyway, there’s only this clip, which is in Spanish, and features an older Mason Capwell (he shall only be referred to by his full name) remembering that time he was a murderous little kid. Now, we can’t figure out what he’s saying because we don’t speak Spanish, but clearly it’s something like, “This girl just wanted to hang out with me because she really respected my sweater vest and collared shirt combo, but I was all, ‘Nah, girl, you got cooties,’ and I pushed her down. She hit her stalkery little head on a rock, and I thought she was kidding, but I went to go help her clumsy ass up and it was too late. SHE WAS DEAD.” Oh Mason Capwell, you scamp.
Yes, there were a few ‘Critters’ sequels, but only one of them starred Leonardo DiCaprio in what is surely the most awesome Bugle Boy t-shirt ever. You’ll only catch a brief glimpse of his face in this trailer when someone says to him, “You aren’t as smart as you think you are.” Yeah, well, DiCaprio is starring in movies for Chris Nolan and Martin Scorsese and where is that other guy now? That’s what we thought. For the un-initiated: ‘Critters’ are like ‘Gremlins,’ but fuzzier and rounder and not nearly as hilarious.
In the episode titled “Home-Ec,’ Roseanne goes to Darlene’s school to talk to the class about being a homemaker and teach them some useful skills, much to Darlene’s embarrassment because seriously you guys — MOMS, you know? DiCaprio is one of Darlene’s classmates, and while he never gets a line, he continues the trend of being the guy who barely has a part but gets to wear the coolest clothes. He may not get to speak, but we hear his outfit choices loud and clear.