Weekly Dose of Ridiculous: Seth Meyers, ‘Spider-Man,’ ‘Breaking Bad,’ and ‘Prometheus’ Spoilers
You’d think with the holiday the entertainment industry would take a break, but here we are with another installment of the Weekly Dose of Ridiculous. This week Seth Meyers might be making the dumbest career move possible, ‘Amazing Spider-Man‘ tries to make us care about a sequel, FX passed on one of the best shows in 10 years, and a theater employee played God.
Don’t do it, Seth Meyers! You have so many jokes to live for! Some argue that ‘SNL‘ has taken a dive since Meyers became the show’s head writer, and taking the gig alongside Kelly Ripa would mean he’d have to step down from his post at ‘SNL’ — though he’d still be manning the Weekend Update news desk. But is this the best career move? Say what you will about ‘SNL,’ but Meyers is definitely talented and co-hosting a morning TV show with Kelly Ripa seems, well, beneath him. The show has been scrambling to find a replacement for Regis Philbin since the aging host stepped down in November 2011.
Currently in the mix to take his spot are NFL player Michael Strahan (if you say so), Meyers, and singer Josh Groban. Groban is hilarious — if you’ve never watched his appearances on the UK television show ‘Nevermind the Buzzcocks,’ get on that. And his appeal to older women would definitely make him the better fit… Oh, what are we saying? Does anyone even care about ‘Live’ with Kelly Ripa? We’re having a hard time caring enough to write about this. Seth… Seth Meyers… There are so many better things you could do with your time if you’re that bored with ‘SNL.’ May we suggest taking up a hobby, like knitting or inventing new flavors of Hot Pockets? You know, something that’s real beneficial for everyone.
Whether you loved or less-than-loved the new ‘Spider-Man’ film this week, Sony’s silly reboot of the franchise (too soon!) worked real hard to make you give two craps about yet another Peter Parker origin story and the giant lizard man who obviously watched ‘Super Mario Bros.: The Movie’ way too many times. As has become tradition for all superhero movies, ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ included a post-credits sequence — these sequences typically involve teases of characters or story lines we’ll see in the next movie, and they work best when they include something interesting enough for casual viewers as well as something real honest-to-goodness fans of the comics pick up on. Example: Thanos at the end of ‘The Avengers,’ or Thor’s hammer at the end of ‘Iron Man 2.’
But the end of ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ features Dr. Connors/Lizard (Rhys Ifans) locked up in some sort of high security cell when a shadowy, vague figure shows up and asks him if Peter asked about “the father.” That’s it. We have no idea who this guy is — but the worst part is that even the huge fans of the comics have no clue who he is, either, so it’s not like Sony and director Marc Webb were throwing out some really obscure but awesome cameo. To add salt to the wound, recent interviews with Webb and Ifans have been ridiculously coy. A sequel is guaranteed at this point because it’s Spider-Man and, well, money, but with everyone in the production aware that a sequel is inevitable and their refusal to reveal the character at the end of the film (if they even know who he is), the whole thing feels obnoxious. And honestly, it seems like Webb might be the only one who knows who the guy is. Sony hasn’t asked him to direct the sequel, so that secret might just go when he does.
Can anyone over there remove their head from their ass to make another film anyway?
Speaking in an interview FX president John Landgraf admitted that ‘Breaking Bad’ was shopped to FX before AMC picked it up, and the company passed on it. Landgraf cites issues with having too many shows featuring male antiheroes already, but that doesn’t explain why they seem to keep adding more shows with male antiheroes — ‘Anger Management,’ anyone?
‘Breaking Bad’ is a huge hit over on AMC, and as the show enters its fifth and penultimate season, the love for Walter White and Jesse Pinkman shows no signs of dissipating. That’s okay, FX, you keep your show with Charlie Sheen and that guy from MTV with the lady friend that talks to everyone between commercials for movies and tries to make people believe they’re watching DVDs on TV or whatever. Meanwhile, over at AMC, Don Draper and Walter White are smoking cigars and the suits at AMC are twirling their fancy mustaches and drinking liquid money from cups made of money that they set on a table made of your dignity.
This week a man named Jorge went to see ‘Prometheus’ (ugh, Jorge, you’re always the last person to see everything). Jorge apparently doesn’t own the internet because he had managed to avoid the 800 promotional videos released every day for two weeks before the film premiered. We could learn a lot from Jorge.
Anyway, Jorge was minding his own business when a theater employee took his ticket and felt morally obligated to warn Jorge that a woman in the film (Noomi Rapace) performs an abortion on herself. Jorge complained to management, who assured him that the employee was not attempting to make a political or religious statement (those pranksters), but Jorge was not satisfied, so he went to corporate, who — instead of reprimanding or firing the employee — offered him two free movie tickets so he could return to the theater just in time to be spoiled for ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’ Jorge is a man of honor, though, so he was all, “I don’t want your stinkin’ movie tickets, bub.” And then he spit his tobacco in the dirt and took off on his horse into the desert sunset. The people of the theater watched on, hats in hand, women wringing their hands in their aprons, and a small girl with braids in her hair whispered, “The movie wasn’t that good anyway…”