And you thought dudes stalking chicks at a regular nightclub were creepy? Wait until you see guys with tails who are coated head-to-toe in blue body painting macking on ladies in Avastar, the new Las Vegas-style nightclub modeled after James Cameron’s ‘Avatar.’

Note: James Cameron has nothing to do with this joint (so far as we can tell), but a borderline-shady Eastern European gangster with two pirate-inspired hoop earrings named Mike Basson is more than happy to lay claim to Avastar, which he describes as a “mind-blowing” marriage of nature and nightclub.

The video below makes Avastar – located in Rivonia, South Africa – look more like porn than Pandora. Maybe it’s the DayGlo mood lighting. Maybe it’s the nude paintings of Zoe Saldana’s Neytiri, which look like they belong on the side of a van instead of in a nightclub.

Still, we’d be lying if we didn’t admit that after checking this clip out, we want to jet to South Africa as quickly as possible to experience Avastar for ourselves … primarily because it probably will only take a couple of days for Cameron’s lawyers to shut this place down. Check out Avastar, in all its Vegas-cheese glory! And pray that Cameron sets at least one scene from his upcoming ‘Avatar’ sequels in this exclusive nightclub.

And if that’s not enough, we also have video from the club’s official Opening Night party, hosted by Mr. David Hasselhoff. Because, why not? The guy-to-girl ratio seems a little imbalanced, but now that word on this club is out, we’re “certain” the ladies are going to “flock” to Avastar. Right?