Hot Damme: JCVD Wears a Fedora in the ‘Kickboxer: Vengeance’ Teaser
Between 1989 and 1993, if you were a youngster practicing your martial arts face-kicks in the mirror — and especially if you were doing so while shirtless — you were probably one of the millions touched by the cinematic masterpiece Kickboxer. On paper, the successful action film sounds like something a twelve-year-old boy would come up with: in between perplexing plot developments that go nowhere and bouts of nudity that put the ‘great’ in ‘gr(e)atuitous’, none other than Jean-Claude goddamn Van Damme goes on a mission of revenge after a lethal Thai kickboxer paralyzes his brother from the waist down during a fight. JCVD is a man of principles, and so he knows better than to stoop to street justice. If he’s to avenge his brother’s paralysis, he’ll need to do so in the ring of the kickboxer. (Fun fact: This is almost the exact plot of the Thai fantasy-horror flick The Boxer’s Omen, which is, against all odds, a stranger film than Kickboxer.)
In accordance with the commandment from god that any and all film properties that enjoyed popularity during the early ‘90s must be exhumed and capitalized upon, a new generation shall soon receive a Kickboxer of their very own, to be titled Kickboxer: Vengeance. In what our own Matt Singer might call a “legacyquel,” JCVD will hand the torch to gifted beater-upper Alain Moussi for another go-round under the Kickboxer franchise banner. This time, Guardians of the Galaxy star Dave Bautista steps in as the brother-crippling reigning champ that our hero must best if he wishes to restore his honor.
The newly released teaser doesn’t offer up a whole lot, but one thing that it sure does deliver is the indelible image of an aged Jean-Claude Van Damme in a fedora. The star of the original film reappears as the mentor who trains Moussi for his climactic showdown and schools him on the delicate, subtle art of pulling off a good fedodo. Look upon the teaser embedded above and marvel at your new kickboxing messiah. Give glory to the highest, for His name is Jean-Claude Van Damme wearing a fedora.