By now it’s quite clear: Sony is not releasing ‘The Interview’ in theaters any time soon. In the wake of the terrorist threats made against theaters that planned to screen the controversial film, and in the subsequent wake of numerous theater chains (including AMC Entertainment, Regal Entertainment, and Cinemark) canceling their planned runs of the movie, Sony decided to drop the film’s release outright. It will not be a very merry Christmas for Seth Rogen and James Franco.

If you’ve been following the story online, you’ve probably seen calls from fans, journalists, and free-speech advocates for Sony to release ‘The Interview’ anyway. If theaters won’t show it, then just put it out on DVD and Blu-ray, or, even more immediately, on VOD. Bypass the terrified middleman, and let the consumer decide what is or isn’t appropriate for their household. And indeed, in the immediate wake of Sony’s announcement, there was some speculation that the studio might attempt some kind of “premium VOD” release—charging consumers something like $20 or more to rent the movie at home.

But, no, that’s not happening either. In a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, Sony clarified that it has “no further release plans for the film.” So barring some kind of additional hack or leak (which isn’t outside the realm of possibility), it could be quite some time before the general public has an opportunity to see ‘The Interview.’

Granted, it seems impossible that this movie will never see the light of day. Five or ten years down the line, who knows what the world looks like; perhaps Kim Jong-un will see ‘Knocked Up’ in the interim, decide he really likes that wacky Rogen guy, and change his mind. But for now, we all need to accept that we’re just not going to watch ‘The Interview,’ and that that lucky few who did see it (like ScreenCrush’s Mike Sampson, who I’ve been needling for details about the movie all morning) are going to be lording it over the rest of us for years to come. The jerks.

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