Full House

No one had exactly clamored for Netflix to revive the Tanner family of Full House for a new Fuller House sitcom, though the reunion admittedly lost some luster when the now-fashonista Olsen twins declined the opportunity to reprise the role of Michelle. Now, we’ve learned how Fuller House will handle the absence, by … being weirdly rude over the phone? You got it, dude.

As if the world’s Full House fan(s) weren’t already scouring the internet for every item of gossip on who will or won’t return for Netflix’s Fuller House, Lifetime has officially withheld its mercy on us. Behold, the cast of the upcoming Unauthorized ‘Full House’ Story, and nary a felt woodchuck among them.

Netflix’s Fuller House may not not have Michelle or either Olsen twin (or our respect, anticipation, interest ... ), but two mainstays of the Tanner household will indeed drop by Kimmy and D.J.’s new digs. Not only will Aunt Becky join Uncle Jessie at the Fuller House, but so too will Bob Saget’s Danny Tanner.

You don’t got it, dude. All of all the myriad questions posed by Netflix’s Fuller House revival series (primarily “what,” then “why”), fans of the classic ABC sitcom had to wonder if either of the Olsen twins reprise the role that first made them famous, Michelle Tanner. Sadly, that series finale horse-riding accident may yet have been more dire than mere amnesia.

Now that everyone and their mother has signed up for Marvel’s Civil War, it’s time for another franchise favorite to to make an iconic return. By way of wildly misleading loglines, Dave Coulier himself will reprise the role of Uncle Joey Gladstone when Full House expands into Netflix’s 2016 Fuller House! Can Mr. Woodchuck be far behind?

Everywhere you look, everywhere you look…there’s Full House. Sensing a chance to further cash-in on your nostalgia, Full House will also head off Broadway for a new musical. Soon Full House will be everywhere, and there will be no escaping the flood your nostalgia hath wrought upon the earth. Have mercy.

On the heels of Netflix’s plan to revive classic sitcom Full House with, uh, Fuller House, comes news that Lifetime would also like to cash-in on your nostalgia with an unauthorized Full House movie. Similar to last year’s underwhelming The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, the new project will take you behind the scenes of the sitcom to tell you all those sordid stories about Comet the Dog that you’ve been dying to hear.

All the Tanners and Gibblers will look up and shout “Have mercy!” And Netflix will look down and whisper “You got it, dude.” That’s right, friends. The Full House has officially become a Fuller House, and Netflix will return San Francisco’s favorite sitcom family for 13 episodes with D.J., Stephanie, and Kimmy Gibbler at the center.

24: Live Another Day certainly kicked down the door, while Coach was apparently already living inside, and now it seems we have a Full House. Oh yes, we’ve got it, dude, the long-awaited Netflix Full House reunion series we never knew we never wanted. Prepare for … Fuller House!

Well, we've really done it now. We let 'Girl Meets World' set up shop on the Disney Channel, shared faint chuckles at the sight of John Stamos, Bob Saget and Dave Coulier schilling yogurt, and continually focused on a solitary Olsen sibling. Nevermind you which, as ABC TV classic 'Full House' may be moving forward with a rebooted series, original cast intact, and all because we couldn't just CUT-IT-OUT.