Monopoly

Unless the whole project gets stuck in movie jail.

This is not to be confused with the previously-reported adaptation of the Monopoly game itself, though of course we’d all love to know how the little man became so wealthy and grew such a robust mustache. No, this film will explore the circumstances surrounding the game’s conception and early development by a woman named Elizabeth J. Magie Phillips.

If you didn’t get your fill of board game movies with either Battleship or Ouija, don’t worry, the trend isn’t going anywhere. After years in development, Lionsgate is moving forward with a Monopoly movie with a script by Oscar-nominated writer Andrew Niccol.

“Hey, young movie. Why can’t you be more like that older movie, ‘The Goonies’? Everyone loves ‘The Goonies.’”—says some studio executive in the tone of a parent who isn’t mad, just disappointed. And so now that ‘Monopoly’ movie that was once set to be directed by Ridley Scott will be more like ‘The Goonies.’ But we all know that ‘Monopoly’ can try as hard as it wants, but it will never get the same kind of affection and attention as ‘The Goonies.’