Pinocchio

He must have wished upon a star.

Disney’s upcoming theatrical slate could become its Disney+ slate.

Robert Zemeckis will direct.

How did our parents let us watch these?

Hanks already played Walt Disney, so why not one of his most famous characters?

The Oscar winner will make a stop-motion animated Pinocchio movie for the monster streaming site.

The year is 2042. The Trump bloodline is still strong. All TV shows are created by Ryan Murphy. The only movies are Disney live-action remakes.

With the news that Guillermo del Toro is taking a year off after ‘The Shape of Water,’ it doesn’t look like his ‘Pinocchio’ will ever happen.

The noted Mexican filmmaker is all ready to make his anti-fascist dream project, he just needs the money.

Nearly two decades out from his first film, and the viewing public hasn’t gotten any closer to answering the philosophical quandary of what, exactly, a Sam Mendes film is. He’s hopped from an accented dramedy about suburban malaise to a grim-and-gritty graphic novel adaptation to an off-kilter war drama to a pair of coolly-received literary adaptations to James freakin’ Bond. The most effective method of predicting the subject of a new directorial outing from Mendes involves dartboards, tea leaves, and cloud-reading, and today’s announcement of a new project for the esteemed Brit helmer adds yet another baffling left turn to his eclectic oeuvre.