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‘The Avengers’ Chinese Bootleg Has the Best/Worst Subtitles Ever

Marvel Studios/Disney

If you just can’t wait to get your hands on ‘The Avengers‘ when it hits Blu-ray and DVD, you can always import a Chinese bootleg, which comes with the added bonus of hilarious subtitles.

Gizmodo ran some screencaps, courtesy of Tumblr user Bileto, from the ‘Avengers’ Chinese bootleg DVD, proving that everything is funnier when lost in translation (Scarlett Johansson connection. What up). We’ve gathered the screencaps for your amusement, featuring your favorite heroes, like “bare ass big green man” fighting to save the Rubik’s Cube from Rocky, the mischievous cousin of Thunder Man.

Foreign bootlegs usually have some fantastic (read: terrible) artwork on their covers, typically mixing up other film artwork with the wrong title, or putting characters who aren’t in the movie on the cover to entice prospective buyers. But these insane subtitles are even better than all of that, making us hope that maybe Marvel and Disney sneak them on the upcoming Blu-ray and DVD release of the film as a hidden Easter egg for fans. Maybe you could switch these subtitles on for your uncle with the bad hearing and make him think he’s really drunk.

Check out the horrible subtitles below and let us know which one is your favorite. We’re pretty partial to “I need a bait and eyeliner.”

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