‘Hitman: Agent 47’ Trailer: The Bald-Headed Assassin is Back For Some Reason
The last time someone made a movie based on the long-running Hitman video game franchise, we got an instantly forgettable action movie that wasted the talents of Timothy Olyphant while also being a box office bomb. A lethal combination. Now, less than a decade later, the reboot has arrived. Because that’s what the people are clamoring for. A Hitman reboot. If the new trailer for Hitman: Agent 47 is any indication, than the second outing of this bald, genetically modified assassin will follow in its predecessor’s footsteps. And then it will get rebooted again in less than 10 years.
The plot of Hitman: Agent 47 reflects the storyline of every other Hitman game or so. Agent 47 is a genetically modified super soldier tasked with pulling off seemingly impossible assassinations. He always gets his man and usually leaves plenty of bodies in his wake. And then he rebels agains the organization controlling him and grapples with life as a weapon and so on and so forth. This time around, he’s got an ally in a woman he was supposed to kill and chose to save ... because she too was the victim of Hitman-izing experiments.
The Hitman games are actually puzzle games that require patience and careful trial and error, but you wouldn’t know if from this trailer, which is all explosions and gun battles and slow motion and what-not. While it would be almost impossible to translate the grimy appeal of the games to the big screen, making what looks like the most derivative action movie of the summer is certainly the laziest possible adaptation choice. There is literally nothing in this trailer we haven’t seen a dozen times before and not even Rupert Friend’s impressive scalp and Zachary Quinto’s hammy shouting can change that.
Still, we can hope for this one to be a pleasant surprise. Maybe there’s something here. After all, there’s no way they would make a second Hitman movie unless someone had a truly inspired and fresh take that demanded a revisitation of the material. Right? Right?!
Hitman: Agent 47 opens on August 21, 2015.