‘Mad Men’ Releases First Maddeningly Cryptic Episode Descriptions

Does your scotch glass runneth dry?  Have you been driven mad by the seventeen-month wait in between the fourth and fifth seasons of 'Mad Men?'  Is March 25 entirely too far away?  Well, fret no further!

With the coming March 25 of 'Mad Men's fifth season, little details here and there have eked their way onto the inter-webs, giving tantalizing glimpses of the return of Don, Roger, Pete, Lane, Peggy and Joan.  So what kinds of shenanigans can we expect from the cast of 'Mad Men' when the series makes its long-awaited return?  How about the episode descriptions of the first five episodes to light your way?

EPISODE 501/502 – “A Little Kiss” (2-hour premiere)

In the season five opener, we’re welcomed back with a surprise for Don as Pete and Roger butt heads, and Joan clashes with a houseguest.

EPISODE 503 – “Tea Leaves”

As Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce tries to build upon its current business, Peggy is given new responsibility. Don and Harry indulge a client.

EPISODE 504 – “Mystery Date”

Don runs into someone from his past. Joan makes a decision, and Roger gives Peggy extra work.

EPISODE 505 – “Signal 30”

Lane strikes up an interesting friendship. Pete entertains guests.

Well, that's...that's just maddeningly unhelpful.  Leave it to Matthew Weiner to play things close to the chest, but that doesn't mean we can't speculate in the meantime!  There are a number of things "a surprise for Don" could mean given his shocking engagement announcement in the season 4 finale "Tomorrowland", but we're not sure exactly how much time 'Mad Men' season 5 will jump forward, if at all.

And just who might Joan's house guest be?  What about Peggy's new responsibilities?  Who's Lane's new friend?  And hey, didn't Bertram Cooper leave the firm in disgust at Don's rejection of tobacco advertising?  It's all so maddeningly vague!  At the very least, we can also tell you that episodes 5.06 and 5.07 will be titled "Far Away Places" and "At the Codfish Ball", respectively.

Make what you will of these 'Mad Men' episode descriptions, and give us your theories in the comments below?  What are you looking most forward to seeing when 'Mad Men' returns for season 5 on March 25?