This weekend sees the release of 'Before Midnight,' the third in Richard Linklater's series of films where Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy walk around gorgeous locales endlessly talking about themselves.
The films are catnip to the indie rom com set, so it's no wonder the series continues. But we can't help but wish the story would take a different turn as the years go by in the life of photogenic couple Jesse and Celine. Check out our ideas for some future 'Before' installments below. (Photoshops by Kristy Puchko.)
Following the title trend, it stands to reason that 'Before Twilight' could be a future installment in the series. (It would follow 'Before Dusk,' 'Before 3pm Coffee Break,' etc.) So why not fully embrace the title and jumpstart the series by making Celine and Jesse vampires? That way the series can continue forever and Ethan Hawke's perpetual grad student persona will finally make sense.
As Jesse and Celine enter their golden years, they start to focus on the important things in life. Like, for instance, finishing their extended "walk and talks" in time to get home and see Andy Griffin's elderly attorney put away some young whipper snappers.
'Before the Zombie Apocalypse'
Jesse and Celine's romantic holiday in Capri is interrupted by the outbreak of a zombie virus. However, thanks to their long conversation about romantic idealism and the works of Soren Kierkegaard, the doe-eyed duo hardly notice the brain-munching taking place around them.
'Before the Robot Revolution'
When her legs finally give out in the year 2112, Jesse gives Celine cybernetic enhancements so that they can continue their walk and talks. Little does he realize this combination of humans and robots would lead to the machines rising up and destroying humanity. Special appearance by Robot Nina Simone performing a melancholy version of 'Just in Time.'
'Before the Planet of the Apes'
Celine's experiments with genetic engineering lead to an advanced race of apes that eventually enslave the world. Meanwhile, Jesse finally finishes his second novel.
'Before the Dawn of the Clones'
In the final installment in the series, Jesse and Celine create several hundred clones and agree to meet up with their cloned selves at a train station in Vienna in six months. Unfortunately the meeting of so many clones blabbing on and on about philosophy and the meaning of love causes the universe to collapse in on itself.