Dakota Johnson

If you were wondering just how much sex would be featured in ‘50 Shades of Grey,’ wonder no more: only 20 minutes of the film’s 100-minute runtime is comprised of sex. That might be a deal-breaker for some of you, who were hoping for a non-stop, tone-deaf fiesta of sex—you know, kind of like that horrible novel on which the film is based. What are you going to do with that other 80 minutes?

Well this cast definitely sounds awesome. The upcoming rom-com ‘How to Be Single,’ which already stars the great Alison Brie, has just added a whole bunch of talented actors. Leslie Mann, Dan Stevens, Rebel Wilson, and Dakota Johnson have joined the film, which is based on the novel by Liz Tuccillo, the co-author of ‘He’s Just Not That Into You.’ Honestly, who even cares what this movie is or who it’s about, as long as we get to see something starring all these fantastic faces, right? Maybe.

In disappointing but totally expected news, the upcoming film adaptation of ‘50 Shades of Grey’ will not include the notorious (disturbing, hilarious, and absolutely batsh— insane) tampon scene from E.L. James’ wildly popular erotica novel. For those of you hoping to see the most absurd moment from the book translated to the big screen, director Sam Taylor-Johnson has put her foot down.

Not long ago we brought you the trailer for ‘Cymbeline,’ the upcoming dark ‘n gritty contemporary take on the William Shakespeare play of the same name—well, not anymore. ‘Cymbeline’ has been given the new title ‘Anarchy,’ which doesn’t really scream “Shakespeare,” though it does sound like a pretty cool title if you’re living on the edge in high school in 1996.

If you were at home chilling and watching the Golden Globes last night (like most of us—it’s OK, you don’t need to hide your shame), you probably saw this new TV spot for ‘50 Shades of Grey.’ And if you actually have a life and better things to do, then you did not see the latest TV spot for what will undoubtedly be the most ridiculous movie this year. Prove us wrong, guys. Prove. Us. Wrong.

That 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2' trailer almost stole some thunder tonight because I pretty much forgot that we were getting a brand, uh, spanking new, Beyoncé-accompanied trailer for '50 Shades of Grey.' Shady move, Blart. The second full trailer for the upcoming adaptation of the popular 'Twilight' fan-fiction erotica novel is here, so let's break it down, shall we?

We won’t know exactly how graphic ‘50 Shades of Grey’ is going to be until we see the film with our own cursed eyeballs, but we now officially know that the film has been given an R-rating by the pearl-clutching members of the MPAA. What does that R-rating stand for? Graphic nudity, “strong sexual content,” and “unusual behavior.” Wait, what the hell is unusual behavior?!

Isn’t it just a little early to start thinking about Valentine’s Day? When you see your neighbors put out their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, don’t you do a bit of a combo eyeroll-cringe? ‘50 Shades of Grey’ doesn’t seem to think it’s too early to start thinking about Valentine’s Day, and has already released its first TV spot to remind you that the holiday is approaching (in a few months), and if it’s Valentine’s Day, it’s ‘50 Shades of Grey.’

We knew that an adaptation of '50 Shades of Grey' probably wouldn't be as explicit as the book on which it's based, even though the book is hardly as sexy as your mom insists it is between sips of boxed wine. And the first trailer didn't do much to convince us of the supposed sexiness, either. A new report indicates that the film is currently undergoing reshoots due to a rumored lack of chemistry between leads Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson. So yeah, maybe that's it.

While there won't be a '50 Shades of Grey' panel at Comic-Con 2014, that's not keeping Universal from getting in on the festivities -- and getting it on with the first official trailer for their upcoming adaptation of the first novel in the steamy trilogy by E.L. James. Get your whips and handcuffs ready 'cause Mr. Grey is ready to see you now.