Behold a Gallery of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Craziest Faces
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s new movie is called Maggie. He plays Wade Vogel, a Midwestern farmer (apparently Austria’s in the Midwest somewhere) struggling to survive in the midst of a zombie outbreak. After his daughter (Abigal Breslin) gets bitten, it’s only a matter of time before she transforms completely from innocent teenager to bloodthirsty member of the walking dead. So Schwarzenegger must choose whether to abandon his child, protect her from government officials who want to quarantine her, or to kill her himself and end her misery as soon as possible.
It’s easily one of Schwarzenegger’s best performances to date; tough and emotional, strong yet sensitive. But because it is so unusually serious for a guy who typically dispatches baddies by attaching them to Harrier jet missiles and blasting them off into other terrorists while quipping “You’re fired,” Maggie misses one of the crucial Schwarzenegger hallmarks: No crazy Arnold faces. For Arnold is the king of crazy faces. Nobody has ever produced more wild, screamy expressions while wrestling with giant men, or running away from explosions, or having their brain lobotomized by future technology. It’s kind of his thing.
In tribute to this towering figure of goofy looks, a collection of 20 of his very finest and funniest achievements in crazyface. Plus, I have done my best to transcribe the dialogue and/or incomprehensible guttural screams emanating from each one of these images in their original context (where applicable). Schwarzenegger will next be seen in Terminator Genisys. Fingers crossed that someone mucks with the T-800’s programming to give him human emotions and then tosses him off a cliff. I just want to see the look on Schwarzenegger’s face after it happens.