Does Jean-Claude Van Damme keep entire shelves for framed photos of his dogs? Does he make exclusive use of hygiene products adorned with his initials? How about a cabinet full of Pop-Tarts, which the action star barbarically microwaves? These are real questions to ask, poised by the first trailer for Amazon’s Jean-Claude Van Johnson.

Where yesterday brought us the first official photos of the Amazon pilot available for streaming this very Friday, the first trailer paints a much weirder picture of the new series. Also, Max Landis makes a cameo? I’m … nonetheless intrigued. Make what you will of the first synopsis:

If you need to eliminate a political rival, debilitate a multinational corporation, or overthrow an entire government—and you need it done with the utmost secrecy—there’s only one person to turn to: one of the most internationally recognizable movie stars in the history of film. Jean-Claude Van Johnson stars Jean-Claude Van Damme (JCVD) playing “Jean-Claude Van Johnson,” a global martial arts and film sensation…and, operating under the simple alias of “Johnson,” the most dangerous undercover private contractor in the world. Lucky for the world’s bad guys, he’s been retired for years…unlucky for them, a chance encounter with a lost love is about to bring him back to the game…and this time, he’ll be deadlier than ever. Probably.

The new Jean-Claude Van Damme series is executive produced by Van Damme himself, Key and Peele alum Peter Atencio, Ridley Scott and David W. Zucker. In addition to Van Damme’s central role, the cast features Kat Foster, Moises Arias and Phylicia Rashad. Make what you will of the first synopsis:

As with all Amazon pilots, the streaming service will depend on votes for a full series order. What should we make of Jean-Claude Van Johnson? Check the photos below:

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