The ‘Rampage’ Movie Plot Sounds Bananas (Because Giant Gorillas)
With the passing of the great James Brown, the title of the hardest working man in show business is up for grabs. We nominate Dwayne Johnson, a superman whose personal Kryptonite is more than 15 straight minutes of relaxation. In addition to headlining the Fast & Furious franchise, rebooting the Jumanji series, spearheading a variety of television projects, and running his own line of athletic wear, Johnson is also working on a big-screen version of Rampage, the classic 1980s arcade game about a bunch of giant monsters leaving a path of destruction across the United States.
That was the plot of the game, but what’s the plot of the movie? In between his 35 jobs, and in the middle of a freaking workout where he had a giant chain hanging around his neck, Johnson Instagrammed this picture, and the accompanying plot description of his particular brand of cinematic Rampage:
Goin' primal. Good to finally have boots on the ground here in Georgia for production of #RAMPAGE. I head up an anti poaching unit out of Rwanda. My best friend is a rare albino gorilla named, George. Very bad people infect George, an alligator and a wolf with a serum. All three animals grow at an unprecedented rate. Their size, speed, agility and violent aggression is off the charts. They go on a deadly rampage and want to destroy the world. George not happy. Me not happy. When animals like you, they lick you. When they don't like you, they kill you. I will hunt down the bad people who did this to my best friend. And when I find them, I will not lick them. We have the best VFX monster making team (WETA) on the planet. Our actors and crew have been working very hard to raise the monster genre bar. As always, let's have some fun. Let's shoot. #PrimalDNA #George #Lizzy #Ralph #RAMPAGE
Well that sounds ... interesting. It does actually kind of reflect the old game, which saw the main character monsters (an ape, a lizard, and a wolf) get embiggened when you’d pop a quarter in and then shrink back down when you ran out of life.
I am a little disappointed Johnson won’t lick people in Rampage, that’d be a nice change of pace for Hobbs. The totality of video-game cinema is still an utter abomination, and if it was anyone else, I’d have absolutely no hope that Rampage would turn the tide. But if anyone can make a good video-game movie, it’s the new hardest working man in show business. Rampage opens in theaters on April 20, 2018.