In this week’s ‘Kingsman: The Secret Service,’ Samuel L. Jackson plays Richmond Valentine, a power-mad tech billionaire with dreams of world domination. Richmond Valentine’s a pretty cool character name, but according to our highly scientific and totally objective calculations, it’s just the 28th-coolest name of Jackson’s long career. Working from his IMDb page (and eliminating any character where he didn’t get at least a first name), we created this list, the definitive (again, totally mathematical and absolutely beyond reproach) ranking of all his onscreen monikers. You’re welcome.

The Definitive Ranking of 110 Samuel L. Jackson Character Names
110. John Mills, ‘Twisted’
109. Stan, ‘Together For Days’
108. Ned, ‘Spenser: For Hire’ (TV)
107. Paul, ‘Mother and Child’
106. Sam, ‘Fresh’
105. Black, ‘The Sunset Limited’
104. Joseph, ‘The Proud Family’
103. Larry, ‘Roc’ (TV)
102. Jimmy, ‘Hard Eight’
101. Marshall, ‘Fathers & Sons’
100. George, ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’
99. Logan, ‘Arena’
98. Turner, ‘Our Friend, Martin’
97. Foley, ‘The Samaritan’
96. Fear, ‘Quantum Quest: A Cassini Space Odyssey’
95. Richie, ‘Meeting Evil’
94. Jamaal, ‘Against the Wall’
93. Mickey, ‘Betsy’s Wedding’
92. Chaney, ‘Oldboy’
91. Stephen, ‘Django Unchained’
90. Hatcher, ‘Dead and Alive: The Race for Gus Farace’
89. Leeds, ‘School Daze’
88. Monroe, ‘Strictly Business’
87. Wendell, ‘Trees Lounge’
86. Mailman, ‘Hail Caesar’
85. Ulysses, ‘A Shock to the System’
84. Trip, ‘Juice’
83. Sulk, ‘The Displaced Person’
82. Zog, ‘Astro Boy’
81. Whiplash, ‘Turbo’
80. Madlock, ‘Mo’ Better Blues’
79. Mr. Simpson, ‘Jumpin’ at the Boneyard’
78. Harry Adams, ‘Sphere’
77. Walter Harper, ‘I’ll Fly Away’ (TV)
76. Will Marsh, ‘Home of the Brave’
75. Calvin Fredricks, ‘Dead Man Out’
74. Coach Ken Carter, ‘Coach Carter’
73. Ray Arnold, ‘Jurassic Park’
72. Reggie Jenkins, ‘Ghostwriter’ (TV)
71. Paul Malcolm, ‘Gospel Hill’
70. Richard Greener, ‘Assault at West Point: The Court-Martial of Johnson Whittaker’
69. Jack Friar, ‘No Good Deed’
68. Pat Novak, ‘RoboCop’
67. Charles Morritz, ‘The Red Violin’
66. Tom Cutler, ‘Cleaner’
65. Champ, a.k.a. Bob Satterfield a.k.a. Tommy Kincaid, ‘Resurrecting the Champ’
64. Col. Terry L. Childers, ‘Rules of Engagement’
63. Andrew Sterling, ‘Amos & Andrew’
62. Rufus, ‘Kill Bill: Vol. 2’
61. Trevor Garfield, ‘One Eight Seven’
60. Russell Franklin, ‘Deep Blue Sea’
59. Nate Cabot, ‘The Return of Superfly’
58. Danny Roman, ‘The Negotiator’
57. Brother Elvis, ‘The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd’
56. Clinton Davis, ‘Reasonable Doubt’
55. The President of the United States, ‘Big Game’
54. Master Sergeant Nathan West, ‘Basic’
53. Gin Rummy, ‘The Boondocks’
52. Elijah Price a.k.a. “Mr. Glass,” ‘Unbreakable’
51. Tendai, ‘Zambezia’
50. Mitch Henessey, ‘The Long Kiss Goodnight’
49. Langston Whitfield, ‘In My Country’
48. Lt. Commander Robby Jackson, ‘Patriot Games’
47. Minister Garth, ‘Def by Temptation’
46. Carl Lee Hailey, ‘A Time to Kill’
45. Louis Hinds, ‘Soul Men’
44. Louis Taggert, ‘Law & Order’ (TV)
43. Louis Batiste, ‘Eve’s Bayou’
42. Gerald Olin, ‘1408’
41. Neville Flynn, ‘Snakes on a Plane’
40. Kadar Lewis, ‘Losing Isaiah’
39. Lt. Karl Aker, ‘Kite’
38. The Octopus, ‘The Spirit’
37. Abel Turner, ‘Lakeview Terrace’
36. Leroy Clancy, ‘Spenser: For Hire’ (TV)
35. Derrick Vann, ‘The Man’
34. Frozone, ‘The Incredibles’
33. Calvin Hart, ‘Kiss of Death’
32. Greg Meeker, ‘White Sands’
31. Stacks Edwards, ‘Goodfellas’
30. Roland Cox, ‘Jumper’
29. Wes Luger, ‘Loaded Weapon 1’
28. Richmond Valentine, ‘Kingsman: The Secret Service’
27. Hejira Henry, ‘Out of Sight’
26. Rumbo, ‘Fluke’
25. Big Don, ‘True Romance’
24. B-Bop, ‘Johnny Suede’
23. Ordell Robbie, ‘Jackie Brown’
22. Dale Deveaux, ‘The New Age’
21. Doyle Gipson, ‘Changing Lanes’
20. Lorenzo Council, ‘Freedomland’
19. P.K. Highsmith, ‘The Other Guys’
18. Jules Winnfield, ‘Pulp Fiction’
17. Samuel L. Jackson, ‘Extras’ (TV)
16. Sgt. Dan “Hondo” Harrelson, S.W.A.T.’
15. Tat Lawson, ‘Menace II Society’
14. Rev. Fred Sultan, ‘The Great White Hype’
13. Zeus Carver, ‘Die Hard With a Vengeance’
12. Romulus Ledbetter, ‘The Caveman’s Valentine’
11. Lazarus Redd, ‘Black Snake Moan’
10. Col. Nick Fury, ‘The Avengers’ (et. al.)
9. Mace Windu, ‘Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace’ (et. al.)
8. Agent Augustus Eugene Gibbons, ‘xXx’ (et. al.)
7. John Shaft, ‘Shaft’
6. Ninja Ninja, ‘Afro Samurai’ (TV)
5. Afro Samurai, ‘Afro Samurai’ (TV)
4. Gator Purify, ‘Jungle Fever’
3. Henry Harold “H” Humphries, ‘Unthinkable’
2. Mister Señor Love Daddy, ‘Do the Right Thing’
1. Elmo McElroy, ‘Formula 51’

Check Out This Gallery of Sam Jackson's Many (Many) Looks

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