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‘America’s Next Top Model’ Review: “The Girl Who Wants Out”

CW

Thanks to the insane new algorithm that calculates the judges’ votes with scores from challenges and the fans at home (which is still just plain bizarre), Leila won last week’s challenge. There isn’t too much time to celebrate, though, as this week brings the most exciting part of ‘America’s Next Top Model‘ and the true test for all contestants: makeovers.

Harvard student Maria is proving to be the problem child of the house — this week she proclaims that if the stylists try to cut her hair, she’ll refuse to let them. Makeovers have long been the source of many tears on the show, and with this being the 19th cycle, you would think any prospective contestant would know she’s at risk for getting her hair chopped off. Even though the show has lost some of its more legitimate model leanings, Tyra and her team of stylists are still wise when it comes to making over the contestants and really bringing out their best features.

The girls are whisked to Christophe Salon where stylist Johnny Wujek and judge Kelly Cutrone announce a twist: for the first time in ‘ANTM’ history, the girls will be allowed to decide whether or not they want a makeover, but there’s a catch — they have to make the decision before they see the makeover plan Tyra has chosen for them. Everyone seems excited, if a little apprehensive, to get their makeovers, but when Kelly asks Maria if she wants a makeover, she responds with a tacky “Hell no!” Harvard, ladies and gentlemen.

Home-schooler Victoria also declines her makeover, but before she can give an excuse, Kelly “tut tut”s her and demands a simple “yes” or “no.” Tyra shows up to check on the progress and tells Darian that she would have let her keep her braids, but “social media said” she shouldn’t. Does Tyra know what social media is, or does she just assume it means “internet people”?

Tyra has a chat with Victoria and Maria, and as it turns out, both of them would have kept their long hair. As Tyra reminds them, social media scores count, and their refusal of a makeover isn’t going to sit well with the judges or the fans online. Also, Victoria would like to reminds us again that she is part Cherokee and part Jewish, so, you know, her hair.

Kelly sits down to explain to Maria that any model starting out in the industry needs to be flexible or no agency will want to represent her. Maria contends that she’s already represented by an agency in Boston, to which Kelly delightfully cuts back with, “You’re represented by a little mosquito agency that has no real meaning or impact in the fashion world.” Snap. Things get worse when Maria says that if someone like Karl Lagerfeld asked her to cut her hair, she would, to which Kelly snipes, “You’re really committed to defending mediocrity. Good luck.” Double snap.

Tensions erupt when Kiara asks Alyssa to tell Darian (are you asleep yet?) to stay quiet after midnight out of respect to the other girls, which somehow evolves into a huge war of the words, with Kiara declaring herself a “real-ass bitch” to everyone in the house.

The photoshoot challenge this week involves the girls modeling nude with judge/male model Rob Evans. In the waiting area Maria decides it’s a good time to tell Destiny and Alyssa that she thinks Kelly Cutrone is a “c—,” or a “see you next Tuesday,” if you get what I’m saying. Once again, Harvard, ladies and gentlemen.

Meanwhile, Laura and Brittany do well with their shoots and Yvonne struggles working angles with her curvier body. Leila and Nastasia get the more action-oriented shots, and fashion blogger/”voice of social media” Bryanboy shows up to give his input. Darian seems confident about her shoot and unwilling to let “real-ass bitch” Kiara spook her from the sideline; unfortunately, that doesn’t quite work out and Darian’s performance is one of the worst of the day. Kiara is equally unimpressive, though, putting too much faith in her own ego and not really working hard enough.

Right before her turn to shoot, Maria breaks down to Johnny, saying she can’t bring herself to do the photo shoot and she immediately decides to leave the competition because she doesn’t feel passionate about modeling anymore. It’s too bad that we won’t get more of Kelly sassing her out.

Kristin and Destiny struggle with their photo shoots — Rob points out Kristin’s biggest issue since day one: she relies too much on her natural beauty and it makes her lazy. Destiny doesn’t feel confident with her new, shorter hair, and has issues taking direction from her photographer. Victoria goes into overdrive to make up for her refusal to get a makeover, and the results in her shoot are great.

Since there was no challenge this week, the girls’ scores will be determined by the judges’ votes and the social media rankings. While the scoring system is still a little strange, it’s interesting to see that Tyra appears to be the judge who grades on a serious curve, giving higher scores out of pity, almost. As a side note: can someone please scrub eight layers of make-up off of all of these girls’ faces? Thanks.

The best photo and highest score this week goes to Victoria, with Brittany coming in as runner-up. Alyssa, Leila, and Laura all have high scores, as well. The lowest scores this week belong to Yvonne and Darian — two girls who were unable to work their bodies and faces in the photos. Their scores work out to a tie, but Yvonne leads Darian in the fans’ votes by a fraction of a point, sending Darian packing. But Tyra explains — for the first time in front of the other girls — that every eliminated contestant will continue to compete in the photo shoots, with the fans voting on the one girl they want to bring back to the competition.

 

 

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