Last Night’s ‘Game of Thrones’ Got Stoned and Set Up Another Terrible Wedding
Game of Thrones Season 5 has reached a midway point, and while we’ve seen plenty of huge divergences from the books, tonight’s “Kill the Boy” set up some major literary plot twists for the second half of the season. Find out who’s getting married, who finally crossed paths, and who’s got a death sentence by our full review of tonight’s Game of Thrones!
You’re warned of all the spoilers from tonight’s “Kill the Boy” from here on out, but there seems to have been good reason that Greyscale has been a subject of debate all season, as tonight’s hour finally showed us the full effects. A climactic scene from the hour saw Tyrion and Jorah Mormont sailing through the ruins of Valyria, bro-ing out just a bit before spying their first look at an enormous Drogon, and subsequently, the dreaded “Stone Men.”
The scaly savages leapt from their hideaways in an attempt to kill Tyrion and Jorah, though Jorah’s difficulty in fighting off so many assailants saw Tyrion dragged underwater by the beasts, waking up some time later having been rescued by Jorah. Both men were quick to assure the other that none of their stone assailants had landed a touch, though the final moments of the hour saw a nervous Jorah secretly glancing at the cracked skin on his wrist. Coming soon to Netflix, Jorah is the New Griff!
Of course, Jorah might have even worse news greeting him in Mereen, as Daenerys spent the hour looking to put some fear in the city masters after the death of Ser Barristan (yes, Grey Worm lives!), dragging the men before her chained dragons, and offering one of them up as a barbecued snack. Dany even went so far as to lock up Hizdahr zo Loraq, but after a bit of soul-searching and advice from Missandei, came to the frightened nobleman with a revelation: not only will she reopen the fighting pits after all to respect Mereen tradition, but she’ll even solidify her status with the city by marrying one of its leaders. Say, you know anyone Hizdahr?
Even from a cell, Hizdahr seemed to be faring better than Sansa this week, just barely skirting around the edges of her own betrothed Ramsay’s bad side. A bit of jealousy from Myranda saw Sansa learning what had become of her former foster brother Theon Reek, before Ramsay gleefully paraded the servant at dinner, forcing him to apologize for killing Sansa’s brothers, and suggesting he gives Sansa away at their wedding.
Roose was none too pleased by his son’s maniacal discourtesy, blithely announcing that he and Walda were expecting a son, and thereby a threat to Ramsay’s inheritance. That predictably shut the boy up, but the two shared an almost-tender moment later wherein Roose revealed that he’d raped Ramsay’s mother underneath her hanged husband, but chose to care for the resulting child once he’d lain eyes on him. After all, Stannis Baratheon is on the way, and both Boltons will need to work together to hold the North, so yay for creepy solidarity?
And speaking of solidarity, Sansa’s North-remembering friends are still keeping an eye out for her, even relaying secret messages from the nearby Brienne to light a candle should she ever find herself in trouble.
Up in the North, Jon played a deadly game of his own by pressing Tormund Giantsbane to gather the remainder of his people and march south of The Wall, free of persecution, at least on the condition they band together and fight the White Walkers when the time comes. The two gave each other some seriously un-bro stares at the prospect of uniting the millennia-warring groups, though Tormund respected Jon enough to accept the mission…so long as Jon accompanied him to “Hardhome” and delivered the terms of the deal himself.
It didn’t go over so well with the rest of the Night’s Watch brothers, but something tells us Jon will have much bigger problems waiting for him North of the Wall. Like, much bigger.
In other news bulletins from Westeros, Stannis finally left the Wall! Missandei and Grey Worm finally did away with all that will-they-wont-they tension! No word on the stones or pillar, though. Everything’s going great, guys! Seriously, with all due respect to George R.R. Martin, leeway with the books has made Game of Thrones Season 5 the most consequential yet, and “Kill the Boy” set yet another strong precedent. Poor Jorah, though, right? That’s worse than the friend zone, that’s quarantine.
Stay tuned for more coverage of Game of Thrones Season 5’s latest, check out our wishlist, and join us tomorrow for more coverage of Game of Thrones Season 5 and beyond!
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