‘Hell’s Kitchen’ Review: “16 Chefs Compete”

After last week's elimination, the women have all turned on teammate Barbie and are slowly starting to collapse in on themselves. There's twice the drama on 'Hell's Kitchen' this week, and even more of Tiffany's hilarious tantrums.

Barbie wakes up most of the house with her decision to get up early and do the dishes, which means Tiffany throws another insane, red-faced temper tantrum. But it isn't long before Ramsay is asking them to get ready and head down to the kitchen, where the cooks see the dining room is full of newly recognized US citizens, and the cooks are tasked with cooking them an all-American meal.

On the menu: California Cobb salad, beef sliders, pizza, and grilled cheese. Easy, right? Thanks to Robin on the red team, things are going rather smoothly aside from a brief hiccup involving Barbie and some pizza. The men are off to a rough start when they take too long to get out a simple salad because Royce decided the Cobb salad looked better with mushrooms.

Kimmie calls Barbie a "stupid b----" in the one-on-one interviews for putting out a limp pizza, and the narrator takes great pride in using the term "deported" to describe Barbie's removal from the pizza oven. Sensitivity is in short supply in Hell's Kitchen.

Clemenza isn't doing too much better with those pizzas over in the blue kitchen, and Brian makes things  worse by under-cooking the mini sliders. Ramsay asks if this is how we should be welcoming new citizens to our country, but I think it's too late to be asking this question.  You invited them to a fake restaurant where you yell at inept staff who can't seem to nail even the most basic recipes. I guess you could argue that the reality television experience coupled with seeing a fellow foreigner (Ramsay) yell at Americans might be sort of inspiring?

The women take the victory and complete the meal service, earning them a trip to San Diego for a safari. In case you hadn't heard, San Diego is now Africa. The men have been volunteered to clean up some local wetlands, making anyone who complains about it an instant jerk for scoffing at such valuable service to nature.

Over in San Diego, giraffes are trying to make out with the women, so they obviously killed them for their hides to construct the tablecloth for the table where they'll be eating lunch. As they toast to their successful slaughter, Barbie apologizes for waking everyone up that morning -- an act that has shocked Ramsay because he never wakes anyone up too early in the morning. Jokes!

In tonight's dinner service one member from each team will be stuck in the dining room, acting as waiter. Naturally, Ramsay selects short-tempered Tiffany, so I hope she does that red-faced stompy dance if someone complains at her. From the men's team it's Don, who can't spell "appetizer." Ramsay calls Royce's boss, Ralph, a former chef contestant from an earlier season of 'Hell's Kitchen.' Ralph gives Royce a pep talk, which puts a little spring in his step and he impresses Ramsay with a perfect risotto early on.

I was ready to defend Barbie last week, and I still think her teammates are unreasonably horrible to her, but she continues to mess up almost every station to which she's assigned, once again proving incapable of cooking scallops in tonight's service. With the entrees ordered, it's up to Briana on fish and Kimmie on meat to impress Chef Ramsay, but Briana burns her fish twice and then serves up half-portions.

Clemenza is single-handedly taking down the entire blue kitchen when he can't find any more beef wellington and the remaining portions he serves up are overcooked. Ramsay starts yelling about how they're cooking for the US Marines like it's the f---ing Catalina Wine Mixer, so Clemenza is forced to explain to the Marines that he's out of beef wellington, but he can cook some tasty steaks instead. I don't know why they look so angry about the wellington. Steak sounds better, and it's not wrapped up in a puffy dough blanket, which should make them happier because carbs.

Roshni sends out undercooked dumplings, Briana continues to burn the fish, and Kimmie puts out wellingtons that are too rare. With this many flubs, it's not surprising when Ramsay sends all eight of the women out of the kitchen.

The men soldier on and finish their dinner service, with Royce shockingly proving to be a solid performer, and Christina impressing Ramsay with her take-charge attitude. It's not enough though, and the women are sent upstairs to choose two nominees for the chopping block. Briana volunteers herself, and it's obvious that Barbie will be the second nominee. Too bad it feels mostly out of petty resentment and not out of a genuine desire to improve their team. Ramsay doesn't think that's enough, though, so he personally picks Roshni to join the other two.

The worst part of any episode is letting the cooks beg to stay because all of their speeches sound the same. For some bizarre reason, Ramsay lets Barbie stay after she completely wrecks the scallops two nights in a row, and sends Briana packing for one night of burnt fish.