The sound of metal grinding against metal. The proud yelp of Mark Wahlberg’s serious-actor concerned voice. (“We’re not givin’ up on Prime, okay?!“) The rippling waves of incoherent computer-generated imagery glinting in the post-apocalyptic sun. It can all only mean one thing: there‘s a new trailer for the latest chapter in Michael Bay’s ongoing giant-fighting-alien-robot soap opera Transformers. Allow me to quickly assuage any concerns by confirming that yes, a whole bunch of crap blows up real big, yes, a huge CGI thing crashes into another CGI thing, and yes, Megan Fox is no longer with us. But let’s dig in anyway, shall we?

Marky Mark returns in Transformers: The Last Knight as actual-scientist-no-we’re-not-kidding Cade Yeager, taking custody of a wayward moppet orphaned after the events of the previous films leveled the entirety of Chicago. They strike up a surrogate father-daughter dynamic while a larger cosmic conflict percolates between humans and the Transformers; it looks like they need to eat our planet to survive? Or something? Either way, main hero Optimus Prime will pull a Dom Toretto and betray his family, mostly by grinding Bumblebee’s face against the ground. Anthony Hopkins, who once won an Academy Award, plays a historian and astronomer with a rare knowledge of the Transformers’ past. John Turturro, one-time recipient of the Cannes Film Festival’s prize for Best Actor in the Palme d’Or-winning Barton Fink, is also in this film. Here’s hoping they both purchased extremely nice boats with the proceeds from their performances.

The film opens June 28, at which point Western civilization itself will crumble, or life will go on and Michael Bay will continue making these movies into perpetuity. One or the other.

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