There’s only one thing weirder than a biopic about an artist who’s still alive, and that’s a biopic about an artist who’s still alive and wants nothing to do with said biopic and has in fact disowned it completely. That’s Britney Ever After, Lifetime’s (naturally) drama about pop artist Britney Spears’ career and fall to “rock bottom.”
The missteps of UnREAL Season 2 guaranteed that Lifetime would take a more cautious approach in Season 3, and the switch to a Bachelorette-type format is already off and running. We’ve officially found our next Everlasting star, now that Masters of Sex alum Caitlin Fitzgerald has signed on as the new leading star.
In psychology, there is a concept called the uncanny valley, which refers to that creepy feeling you get when you see something that looks almost just like a person’s face, but not quite. This also applies to celebrity biopics. When you watch a movie about someone you’ve seen pictures of all over the place for your entire life, and the actor playing that person looks almost just like that person, but not quite, you get the same creepy feeling. That feeling abounds in these new images from Lifetime’s Britney Spears movie, tentatively titled Britney.
Off the rails as Season 2 of Lifetime’s breakout UnREAL went, the initial attempt at exploring racial politics with an African-American Everlasting suitor was well-received. Season 3 has its own issues behind the scenes, but will again attempt to change the conversation of reality TV, this time switching genders with a female suitor.
The jinxed story of Robert Durst doesn’t lend itself to a second season the way Netflix’s Making a Murderer or even Serial might, but Durst himself has been grounds for belching parody for decades. Now, Lifetime will take The Jinx story in a semi-serious route, developing an original movie based on the decades-long saga of Durst’s mysterious deaths.
While the phrase “James Franco lesbian vampire movie” was more than enough to sell us on Lifetime’s Mother, May I Sleep With Danger? remake (hell, “James Franco, Timecop” worked for 11.22.63), the trailer itself is something to behold. See for yourself, as the Tori Spelling camp classic gets a bloody facelift … you know, with James Franco, and lesbian vampires. I want to stress that part.
As Hannibal fans this weekend (and billions of others before them) can attest, too long has the antiquated Nielsen ratings system given an incomplete picture of a show’s viewership, swaying networks to and fro of cancellation. We may finally have some progress however, as Nielsen will begin taking into account streaming data from the likes of Hulu, Netflix and beyond.
Since Lifetime executives clearly learned the definition of “moderation” while funneling tequila factories through a diamond hose, the “Unauthorized Story” isn’t going down anytime soon. Following Saved By the Bell, Full House and Beverly Hills, 90210, Melrose Place will next cast horrifying non-lookalikes to plunder any and all remaining interest you had in the 1990s.
First came the buzzworthy breakout of Lifetime’s “Unauthorized” Saved By the Bell biopic, then follows the horror of a Full House behind the scenes exposé, then comes the next piece of ‘90s nostalgia to chum Lifetime’s feeding frenzy. Beverly Hills, 90210 fans, prepare yourselves for the horrifically-cast “Unauthorized” movie you never knew you never wanted.
Last week brought an appropriately silly-seeming first look at Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig’s surprise Lifetime movie A Deadly Adoption, though the full trailer paints a decidedly different picture. The spoof is subtler, but just what kind of movie will A Deadly Adoption turn out to be?